Belaboring semantics overmuch
can deaden souls to rhythms they should heed,
explaining why some poets never touch
the music of the cadence sonnets need.
To hear that inward sound, a grand huzza --
dispense with any tricks you might employ:
tap out a beat and sing, la LA la LA --
then write the way that gives you greatest joy.
While poring over poems we adore
we take to heart the lessons masters teach,
so pick up those loose iambs from the floor
and use them for sweet melodies of speech.
Leave linguistic studies on the shelf,
write first, to entertain and please yourself.
Line 8 originally read "then write the way gives you greatest joy." I missed out a word. Sorry.
Comments
I almost thought you'd made a mistake
But realised 'po-ems', not 'powms' . Glad I did, and glad to have read this well conveyed piece.
It is written in fun
but I think holds a message worth considering. Can one force a good poem into being simply to fill a niche. Maybe so, but it certainly won't be as satisfying as one that flowed effortlessly from your pen.
technical sonnets I could never compose
but simple ones
in my free style
I have many composed
I know no style of poetry
that's why some like me
only one says
CRAP
and
by now all Neopoet knows
who could say so
HE HAS made so many weep
and flee
gracious is he
I have
no linguistic qualifications but have read and enjoyed famous poets such as Robert Louis Stevenson, Robbie Burns and Rudyard Kipling. That is why I have said what I did about reading. It is my experience that if one appreciates different styles they tend to rub off on you, even sonnets.
great
sorry for the reply
so late
I am a creator of my own
when I read Shakespeare
yearszzzzzzzz ago
I reproduced
MACBETH
to the very last word
in Cambridge exams
two and a half hours
and
earned laurels ..
Thanks to the fairness of mind
of instructors then
who were a Gold mine
divine
today's,
need to be more refined
so seeking Shakespeare.s
invisible blessings
many started calling me
the small bard
ask any Neo
I can't
agree more. I like both the text and the subtext.
Thank you for sharing keith.
The last couplet sums up all
Thank you Rula
I am glad to have your approval and I will look into the workshop you mention.
We are in agreement then,
And also with Rick Nelson who wrote a song called "Garden Party" which included this chorus;
It's all right now
I learned my lesson well
You can't please everyone
So gotta please yourself.
I hate parsing, it is a chore, especially for this piss-take.
However learning structure gives you incredible power over the sound, meter and meaning of your work.
Belab/oring /seman/tics o/vermuch
can dead/en souls /to rhy/thms they /should heed,
explain/ing why /some po/ets nev/er touch
the mus/ic of /the ca/dence sonn/ets need.
To hear /that in/ward sound/, a grand /huzza --
dispense/ with an/y tricks /you might /employ:
tap out /a beat /and sing/, la LA /la LA --
then write /the way /gives you /greatest joy. [Dactylic or Trochaic with hanging foot?]
While por/ing o/ver po/ems we /adore
we take /to heart /the less/ons mas/ters teach,
so pick /up those /loose i/ambs from/ the floor
and use /them for /sweet mel/odies/ of speech.
Leave lin/guistic/ studies/ on the/ shelf, [Trochaic with hanging foot]
write first/, to en/tertain/ and please /yourself.
That said, if you learn these forms you will gain an incredibly strong grasp and control of your word-crafting and expression.
Not many bother. Not many become really good poets.
I don't hate parsing
I simply never bother. I go with the flow. If it sounds right it can't be far wrong.
Line 8, I missed out a word by mistake. It should read "then write the way that gives you greatest joy."
Line 13 could start "so leave" but as is, I read it as a headless iamb.
Parsing, in my opinion is less a science and more an art-form, where more than one interpretation of the same word form is possible.
it can be an in-exact science, yes
still, meter is so very important.
I was thinking of running another advanced meter workshop.
It is hard when different regional accents stress words differently. Southern States Americans use long vowels instead of stressed vowels (it's the French influence). Some people don't like the technical terms and are obstructive.
Then again meter is possibly the single most important aspect of the poetic craft. Really.
If someone, preferably several someones, wanted to help, I would consider giving it another go.
We could do it without that painful parsing I did above. A microphone and Soundcloud would help too, so we could hear each other.
Any takers?
Just seen this
Yes, I'd be very interested Jess.
By advanced, do you mean a step on from Wesley's?
no, working with Wesley, periodically
adding sounds bites.
Always interested
Where is Wesley?
AUDRIE
You are no less
a sonnet must be composed
ask snow man the syllables
but all I know is
a sonnet has to be
abab cdcd efef and gg
14 lines
4 4 4 plus2 =14
but here Keith says 8 4 and 2 =!4 too
need a clarification
what say you?
a=gay
b=dry
a=way
b-fry
cd cd and efef also gg
must have different soundings
not gay and fry
some other words do try
cdcd
cried sigh
fried high
got it?
there are many different types of sonnet, lovedly
though they do all consist of 14 lines.
yeah
Know I know thanks jess
Audri
I have not forgotten my offer to work with you so that you can produce a sonnet of your own. Be in touch anytime.
It's done!
Wesley is running a meter workshop with sound optional.
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/meter-workshop
Clever poem
I enjoyed reading this Keith. Jx
One tiny nit Keith
So pick up those loose iambs from the floor
'Pick up' comes out spondee to my ear....
Imo it would read smoother as
So pick those loose iambs up from the floor
Just a suggestion
I like the write
Love judy xxx
.
Parsing is an art
not a science. Often the same line can be read in different ways according to the specific understanding of the reader. As the rest of the line is so obviously iambic, I would see the start as a headless iamb.
PS: have you tried reading this line out loud?
So pick those loose iambs up from the floor
Lol
I read everything aloud Keith... all the time
I stand by my suggestion - suggestion being the operative word...
Love judy
xxx
.
I record them out loud
I recommend it.
Poetry is not music lyrics where you can stretch any vowel to suit the beat, you have to use natural language as your base.
I recommend vocaroo or soundcloud
Keith ur becoming famous ------day by day
let others not become jay
I am a fan of yours
as always
Poetry just falls like the
NIAGARA FALLS
my way
As Niagara can't hear itself
even when guys i
n the QUEENS MIST yell
I can tell
halfx10000 tomes heartedly
I louder than others yell
but my deaf ears
can't tell
your poetry sounds to me
like the one I composed before
FOR WHOM THE BELLS TOLL
NOW NO MORE!
EARNEST HEMMING WAY
HOPES HE DOES HERE
EVEN THOUGH HE IS NO MORE
A lovely poet as he for sure
For whom the bell tolls
John Donne (1572-1631),
Perchance he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that.
there are many typos
above
lets see who does read
poetree