Run!
Flee the binding stifling hugs
that you toss aside
blithely
embracing your new northern namaste
with an insouciant shrug!
What does it matter that
your mother
crushed
life previously unravelling
with you as the leading player
dissolves like wet celluloid?
Her memories merge into
one huge sob
and yet
this irrigation will provide
a fecundity of new adventures.
She's just so infuriated with inactivity
her grief is sodden & bloated
begging to be drowned.
Comments
Wow, this is powerful
I love it!
Feels a bit like William Burroughs' cut up technique in its disjointed steam-of-conciousness approach. Or am I reading it wrong? Tough titties if I am, love it anyway and once you post/publish your work no longer belongs to you, it belongs to your readers.
Let me know how wrong you think my reading is.
https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/northern-infuriate-by
Bingo!
Hi Jess,
Mined a memory of my daughter finally fleeing the nest...hundreds of miles away but happy. Job done as a mother, but I'm still grieving. Rather a' torrent- of- conciousness' i'm afraid!
Disjointed freeform to punch home how I'm feeling and to emphasise certain words. Glad you felt the force!
Ells x
I like it as well.
And I don't like the free verse.
Love/Hate
Hi Wes,
Happy 2015! Long time no spar!
I'm just your 'dirty little free verse' treat...
Well, I'm not a fan of the mathematical classical rhyme...however, I can still appreciate the writer's craft.
Whilst I have your attention, it's my dearest hope that in 2015 we can have a bit more fun & levity on Neopoet, no disrespect, but I feel the direction over the past couple of years has been on the drear side Wes. Can we please allow more experimentation and rule-breaking? One of the reasons I've not written much this year is because it all feels a bit too 'worthy'.
Anyway, I thank you very much for your comments, I respect you as a poet greatly.
Ellie x
I'm all for levity.
I'm just a bit boring. As for rule breaking... isn't that what the Elf is for? You go on breaking rules. At this point I think it would be hard to disrupt NeoPoet, so have fun.
VOX version
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Egdx1btwYi
wonderful!
I just love hearing poets in their own voice.
Are we having fun yet?
Bravo!
Another thumbs up from Lenny! Loved it!
Salut!
Hi Lenny of Cohen!
Long time no comment!
Thank you and have a Happy 2015...looking forward to analysing more of your output this year.
regards,
Ellie :)
intense and beautifully written
the endings...
written like a screen play
your word choice perfect
and falling into place
leading the whole poem
together in its four
paragraphs
the grief felt
thank you!
blithely
blithely
embracing your new northern
‘‘Namaste''
with an insouciant
shrug!
dissolves like wet celluloid?
fecundity
of new adventures
Wow what words UK English eh!
Did you marry her off to an Indian
The English used here speaks
more of UK than American
So as my maiden visit
and
seeing the best poets have already visited
you are an apparent poet of standing
It’s been a pleasure to read
as your daughter one day
had to leave
All kids in the Western Hemisphere
leave once 18
it’s a normal phenomenon
in the Western world including the continent
Free style is not liked by Snowman
I shudder when he glosses my page
I go down under
as it’s the only way
to do for a page
as I compose all my life's poetry
till today, in free verse one may say!
It's 2017 now...
and I still like it. Look in my new meter workshop and see if I can bring some levity to it.