A loving voice -
It reaches afar,
It plumbs the depths,
It shoots for a star.
At times it's tiny,
At times it's careful,
But more that this -
It's often prayerful.
An angry voice -
It goes far too,
It cracks like a whip
To lash friend, foe, and you.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
torpedoes
the old ones the homing did come back
and words ..yes come back
last line was it
the kicker....
knew the word gunslingers
barely any went to their funerals
most of obligation
they have nice coffees there
the women get dressed up
nice....love formal occasions
the encouragers packed
more women...man gang
club crowd showing respect
genuine then obligatory
but we cut our own paths
and sometimes the bad worders
cant help it...something painful
happened to them
oh gotta go
bunnies calling me
thank u
w
Voices
I think I am going to like all of your poems.
Me too...
You have a way of expressing yourself so that I can understand without having to search for the meaning or make up my own. ~ Geezer.
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