Live in only ...... thanks edit

Deprivation
is the manure
for serious poets
as real poetry emanates
from all man kind

I often wonder
why marry
when two can raise
a progeny ..
through
boy and gal friends
conveniently

many end up
in divorce

you may live in
have sex of course
with no remorse

share the kids
equally
in any case
they separate at
eighteen
eventually

why restrict their lives
let them live in
with their
gals and guys

be gay or lesbian
whats it to
anyone

its their body
which was brought in
by any pair hetro
could be
him and you

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

Comments

Nonsense

be gay or lesby
whats it to you and me
its their body
which was brought in
by any two
could be
him and you

Can only be brought in by a heterosexual couple or the use of science to remove by one place the actual father.

Hi Lovedly, for me, this is not one of your finer pieces.
It's waffly, it makes sweeping generalisations, the flow is very wooden and lumpy and I don't like words written in capitals - it's too shouty.
I was going to say I don't have a problem with the content, but then I do - how can you say most poets emanate from the USA, how can you say mostly women divorce and I find the abbreviation of lesbian to lesby rather insulting. Sorry, but not wildly taken with this one. Jx

could feel the slap

but really enjoyed it
took three hours to edit
hope you will now relish

Bravo

Wow, just shows what a slap can produce - lol.
Seriously, this is a fantastic example of how editing , however painful, really can improve a piece of work. This is hardly recognisable from the first version, am seriously impressed.
Jxx

It's an improvement

but for me could probably never go far enough. I am gay and always have been, in the old fashioned meaning of the word. I really object to any community hijacking a word and giving it a completely new meaning. "Good as you" is what I was told it stood for, to which I snapped back maybe they should aim a little higher. I have never bothered to rate myself in any way.