Let the hope drive you forward
that she may one day see you
dangling there on the pavement
an ice-cream in each hand
your semi frozen gifts melting
in anticipation.
May 01, 2016
Dangling on the pavement
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Let's call it a short western meditation on unrequited love. I think everyone can relate to that feeling. This came from a memory of Scarborough, a misread sign, and being stood up. One for all the jilted nerds of the world!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
like wind and rain and sun
They come and go
comely..plain janes
and exotic beauty..
We keep going
knowing
there will always
be the new
anewed
arriving
....
lol
I shouldn't laugh I suppose, but the vision I get with my read of this makes me smile...
I guess you will probably say that I am as unkind as that lady in your past...
Really well written Chris.... short and clever....
love the image of someone 'dangling on the pavement' ... great usage of 'dangling'
Reminds me of past days of my own youth - lol - I did a lot of 'dangling' back then
Love judy
xxx
Glad you saw the funny side..
Yes, it was intended as an ironic and humorous little scene, of the awkwardness and nervous sense felt when you're there, she's not there (and obviously not coming:/ ) and you've been left "dangling" - one day I'll get over it ;) - thanks for stopping by.
Take care
Chris.