June Contest - Choka - Japanese Poetry - $25 (USD) Amazon Emailed Gift Card

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Expanses( Choka entry)

Vast expanse of naught
the gaping maw of defeat
unjustified scorn
from others bent on deceit
undermining all
overshadowed by ego
perhaps unaware
the truth will conquer a lie
a broken soul left to die

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe

Comments

Chrys!

"overshadowed by an ego". This verse has 8 syllable count. Other han that, it's all good.

Alid

will fix that right now thanks for catching that and for the read and comment

Chrys

Loved this one all you need to do is take out "an" in that line and all is perfection,
Take care of you all, Yours Ian . x

Ian

Hello thanks Alid caught that one
've been trying to comment on at least three poems before posting anything and I use the undiscovered list to do so

I have to admit that I found this a hard bite for the first few times that I read but then, and again I have to say I was fascinated by the language use and thought that everyone can relate to the theme in a way or another.
Wish all the best!!