jane210660
jane210660
May 15, 2016

A Trio of Triolets

Lost Youth – A Triolet

She sighs and looks at her dressing table,
The bottles and jars and soothing lotion
The elixir of youth she hopes to enable,
She sighs and looks at her dressing table.
The march of time she cannot disable
No matter the tonic or potion.
She sighs and looks at her dressing table
The bottles and jars and soothing lotion.

Old Age - A Triolet

The old girl watches the world go by
As she sits in her meadow green,
With ragged fleece and rheumy eye
The old girl watches the world go by
No more, she hears her lambs’ soft cry
To many, a mother she’s been.
The old girl watches the world go by
As she sits in her meadow green.

Old Friend - A Triolet

Sat in the attic whilst sunbeams dance
Upon your wooden frame.
No more do you race, no more do you prance
Sat in the attic whilst sunbeams dance
No children astride with sword and lance,
Playing their childish game.
Sat in the attic whilst sunbeams dance
Upon your wooden frame.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: With my usual lack of reading the instructions, I wrote the first two triolets for the competition. Then I read the instructions. Wrong theme. So, I wrote yet more triolets, i think I'm thinking and speaking in them now! The third one has several versions, one of which I may well edit again and enter. This very standardised form is not my natural way of writing, but it has been fun - for a while! Jx

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Yorkshire England, GBR

More from this author

Comments

Keith Logan

echoes something I said. I am now bored with these challenges that never produce a good and natural read. Poetry should be fun for the writer and easy to engage with for the reader.

jane210660

I did enjoy playing with the structure and format. It's new to me, I'd never heard of a Triolet 'till I joined Neopoets. I think it's sometimes good to learn to work within a tight discipline - as long as you don't have to do it all the time.
As a novice poet, I expect it develops technique and gives a sense of differing rhythms and meters.
I don't mind this format - not sure how many times I'll use it through choice though. One form I do really dislike is Haiku - it just isn't me. Don't mind reading it, just don't like writing it! Jxx

judyanne

They won't let up when you find something new...

Good triolets
are you attempting one with the themes for the contest?
I think you should :-)

I relate very much to the first lol
love judy
xxx

jane210660

Hi Judy, I have a couple for the contest, but not sure about a couple of things.
1. Can we enter more than one?
2. Do they have to have all three themes, as does yours, or can it be any one of them?
Cheers Jxx

judyanne

we can only enter one
as for the themes, I'm not sure, but at the bottom of the contest page is this notation

'How Judged:
Adherence to the form
Inclusion of themes
Artistic composition'

As themes is pleural, I read it as meaning all three things - season, toy, and insect...

If you want to message him, I'm sure Jonathon will clarify it for you....
... or you could put up a blog and ask the general public their opinion....
xxx

Rula

Rula

8 years 11 months ago

a good first attempt I think. I liked the third the best though it might not be totally adhesive to triolet's line's length. Not anymore sure about anything :)