lovedly
lovedly
May 06, 2016

his love for her

love has no permanency
anyone can at any time leave

believe or disbelieve
love is just a notional breeze
that temporarily does freeze

but if you are so sure
she loves you
and
your rosy petals more
enjoy the wait
as she will come

keep decorating your gate
she loves roses
more than a silly date

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

Keith Logan

but I'm not sure the last four lines add anything worthwhile to the picture.
I do see that you are trying to contrast the notional modern woman with the traditional role but that line "women are now not like socks pair" simply jars with me. Maybe something like "women are not only fair" or "women are fully aware." It's not enough for the writer to know what he means but he must communicate it clearly to the reader.
PS: on the next line I would swap now and they,
men, they now daily dare...

lovedly

but yahoo
says this site is now dangerous
as the revised certificate of regn etc is not okay
please check and let all know friend

judyanne

after I've removed the waffle (imo of course)

love has no permanency
anyone can at any time leave

believe or disbelieve
love is just a notional breeze
that temporarily freezes

but if you are so sure
she loves you
and
your rosy petals more
enjoy the wait
as she will come

keep decorating your gate
she loves roses
more than a silly date

Love judy
xxx

lovedly

I assure you from NEO
I shall never flee
as long as you waffle
Ah !
but not with me
thanks Judy
your are really kindly
to a waffler that I be

Slice all of it
as innate waffler
I don't want to be
lovedly

mand

mand

8 years 11 months ago

Everything comes to he who waits - but there is no harm in helping it to come sooner, by planting a rose garden ( metaphorically speaking ) - and when it comes grab it while you can!

( This is how I interpreted your thought provoking poem )

Well done - nice poem - nice sentiments

Love Mand xxxx