Seren
Seren
May 08, 2016

twenty years of grief

I can't be there today
to sit beside your grave,
I need to talk to you
its comforts what I crave

I've cried a million tears
as I've walked into forever,
wandering lost and alone
since our bond was severed

I look into the night
to see you walk the stars,
listening to the deep
for messages from afar

I've learned to write in word
my heartache and pain,
until that sacred time
when I'll be with you again

I miss your words of advice
and the sound of your voice,
being so far apart from you
would never be my choice

As I walk in fields of gold
your memory is with me,
and looking at carnations
makes a smile break free

The strength of your love
is a testament of my grief,
only when I leave this place
will I find a peaceful relief

I'm going to be a Nan
I wish I could share with you,
all these little happy times
but I'm only feeling blue

My dearest loving Mother
I miss you more each day,
twenty years have passed
it hurts more than I could say
 

About This Poem

Last Few Words: My 20th Mothers Day without my Ma .. it never gets easier.

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

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Comments

S

The line which caught my attention was"I'm going to be a Nan". This is obviously a work of fiction as it's impossible to be a grandmother at 25 lol. Your poem does a great job capturing the thoughts one often has of passed loved ones.............stan BTW if Nan=grandmother congrats

Seren

Yes yes yes going to be a Nanny and the baby's due the 20th but after seeing them this evening I suspect it wont be that long, I've been so so sick but this little man I will get to meet very soon has kept me going ... love him already and I haven't met him .. I know his name but Brocky and Tamika haven't announced it yet and this is shared on FB lol

Thank you for the read you know I always write to "her" on special days <3

Love Sis xxx

Rula

Rula

8 years 11 months ago

to wish you a happy mother's day dear Jane.
I read through your words and thanked God mom is still around. I bet it's never the same without them.
Take care our dear Jane. Looking forward to hearing about the new prince :)

mand

mand

8 years 11 months ago

Written from the heart and soul - a very well rhymed out pouring to a very special person - never forgotten! :)

:)

LOve Mand xxxx

wesley snow

He'll be gone soon. Another loss. Daddy, mommy all gone. The ache never leaves. But I suspect you know that already.

As per company policy... I'm going to critique the poem.
I liked the loose rhyme scheme. It lent to the conversational nature of the poem. The sentiment was portrayed as sincere and therefore not overdone. I would have finished shorter, but there was so much to say and I couldn't tell you what would be appropriate to exclude.
I liked the poem very much.

Sparrow

You are seeking for those loved ones, from the tip of your fingers, to the vast spaces beyond the stars.
There is an answer to your searching, just look inward at what you are, and there in that grown Spirit you will see who made you so,
Mothers beyond love, are held, and are more powerful than death itself, they still live in there, a sanctuary that you made with the love of them, they are as I have always said but a thought away.
I have so many around me, as I have become older they have become more, there in the vastness of my love they hold council and watch me grow.
Just talk to yours and know that they are there,
Yours as always, Da xxx
.
Last week on the 5th May was my Brothers anniversary, Now this week on the 12th may is my Mothers,
then on the 19th May is my eldest Sisters, she lived in Perth, and I think I saw her just the once since from 1949 to 1988.
They are still here, with all the others of my close family, they will be there for more than always and beyond, they still make me smile sometimes, so this extra is just to let you know that they haven't left you..xx