raj
Apr 06, 2016
This poem is part of the contest:

April 2016 - Limerick - Prize -$25 USD Amazon.com Gift Certificate

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Her Majesty's Fall (limerick)

The Queen said "I'm going to the mall"
the King said "darling go have a ball"
when she returned late night
he couldn't watch her plight
she was groggy and about to fall
*

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

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Comments

Rula

maybe you need to rework the beginning of the last line.
[she was] groggy and about to fall ..for a better meter unless you feel happy with it. Always good to give a new form a try.
Good shoot with her and his majesties. :)

R

Thanks Rula for your time, comment and suggestion. Your suggestion is spot on, therefore implemented already.

Good to know you found this funny. I was wondering if it would be viewed as "profanity" . Since this one is apparently acceptable, I will have a go with one more :)

Regards,

mand

mand

8 years 12 months ago

This made me giggle. I have a vision of a very drunk Queen and a very embarrassed King. I reckon there must be a lot of Kings and Queens out there like that! Lol

I love your imagination and the fun loving nature of this poem.

Love to you

Mand xxx

lovedly

Who can go to a mall
and have a fall
as they play with heaven knows whose balls
limericks 'tis after all

king can save his once for all
when a drunken sunken one returns
and asks
where am I
Where are yours!

R

raj

8 years 11 months ago

Good to see you back. Thanks for the time, visit and comment. Good to know you liked it.

Much love..

mand

Looking forward to being more interactive! :)

Loads of love

Mand xxx

R

raj

7 years 2 months ago

In reply to by Molly78

Hahaha...being a limmerick tried to pack it with fun....wondering if i should mail it to Buckingham Palace...even the Queen deserves a hearty laugh..what do ya think:)

Cheers!

R

raj

7 years 2 months ago

In reply to by Molly78

Really? I wish i had her email ID to send it to her...fun apart...good to know you liked it...may be I will try a few more limericks...

Regards..