Life

I came from nowhere
In my dream
Or should I say,
Nightmare; but things
Are a lot smoother.

The pit I have dug in
Came forth with flowers
When I woke up.

Life's but a shallow grave
In the tomb of reality.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: Manila, PHL

Favorite Poets: R.S. Thomas

Comments

Thanks Jayne

I just heard that neopoet is up and I really do must be with you guys again. :)

I prefer the "When I woke up" thing. The "then" would change the entire scenario.

Thanks for the suggestion.

I love the reference to life is a tomb, because we all live encased in our own thoughts. there is a great loneliness to that situetion which we live everyday.
this is an excellent poem. the shallowness of life truly feels like it is easy to dig and find the reality. So the flowers is a great metaphor that shows its beauty
great job!!
Eddie C.

Thanks Eduardo

Thanks a lot for taking the time and commenting on my work.

Thanks Shirley

Nice to be back! It's nice to see you again. :)

hi Dennis, I was pleased to

hi Dennis, I was pleased to see your name, welcome back!

For me, it would work better if you personalized the end line.

My life a shallow grave
in the tomb, I find reality.

Thanks Kailashana

Nice to see you again.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I like the end lines as it is. :)