Layune
Dec 19, 2015

Stars to Sea

In the silence of the night.
In the tunnels of perception.
I find memoirs sinking,
Rendering fleets
Towards an unknown abyss.

Within the maelstrom of time
The claim is gone.
The feelings undone.

Each character
Shaped and shaded,
Bleeds despair.
Hues of gray and 'stay'
Wake the dead.

With stars to sea,
ships entombed,
I'll no longer suffocate.

Along an untraceable path
I weave the way.

Fragments alone remain
Upon waves,
Of lives once lived.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: California, United Sates, USA

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

for sure! I like the title and the sense of what is said, just not sure of what it pertains to.

L

Initially as I wrote this I was writing more about letting go/drowning/laying to rest, different memories and past experiences that have been painful or hurtful. However, having read other's comments I can se how the poem can be interpreted differently.

Esker

Esker

9 years 4 months ago

travel poem too me...........I travelled too lovers
i ran from lovers......
I moved too court
too probation
etc

Fifties americana poetry was full of the angst and movement
I sense this here........and the pain
emotional.........heart ache....then it was not so spoken of
unlike now............
an exposure........like film...
decadence narcotic I call it
and I love it....

I like this poem
thank U

L

I have noticed that this can be interpreted in different ways. I would agree that that is one beauty of poetry. The intended meaning was more along the lines of letting go and moving past hurtful memories and experiences. Not sure if that clarifies the meaning. Thank you for the correction, I'll be sure to change it.