Rula
Rula
Nov 03, 2015
This poem is part of the contest:

THANKS

(Read More...)

Always Content (Thanks Contest)

I'm thankful for the things I have,
and even for the things I don't.
You find this hard to understand,
so let me tell you why and how.

I'm thankful for whate'er God gifts;
the health, the spouse, the kids and more
a million things I ask in prayers,
He might answer, He might not,
for deep in heart I have the faith
(some might not at all agree),
that only what He has to give,
and only that, is good for me.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

judyanne

A couple of suggestions
'for I have faith down and deep' .... is just a fraction awkward
can you think of another way to say it? - i know you don't like to use other's suggestions, so I'll leave you to think about it

Fourth verse seems a fraction long - can i suggest you drop the ' and how'?

'and million things I ask in prayers' .... make 'and' 'a'

'though some might not wholly agree' ... also seems a tad long...?drop 'wholly'

'and only that is good for me' .... put a comma after 'that'

Best of luck in the contest
love judy
xxx

R

raj

9 years 5 months ago

Good to read the poem apt in the context of the contest theme and approaching Thanksgiving Day and also good to see you and Judy show great sporting spirit by helping each other inspite of both participating in the contest.

Best wishes to both of you.

R

Very sporting of you Rula to offer for me to participate. Thanks for that.

I will keep a tab on how you work on this further. Carry the winning streak of October into November.

Best of luck,

alidzain

I see you put the poem's writing style as ''Structured Western''. I thought it is more to free verse..Anyway this is a good write and I wish you the best for the contest.

Alid

Barbara Writes

I like the poem. Like Judy I thought if read awkward in a couple places. Line 4 may read better ad ''so let me explain how''. Since I'm training my brain in grammar and syntax, line 5 seems it should be ''God's gifts''. And
And line 8 read awkward. Hope you the best in the contest. I'm not the best at poetry critique. So if I'm off press on to greatness.

Rula

but you know this feeling when you like some lines (though they might sound rubbish) lol
I tried to keep all in tetrameter. Hope it's working.
STILL I like your suggestion. I might reconsider. You never know. )
Thank you

Sparrow

A simple thanks to those things that sustain you and make you love them always, a great write,
Yours Ian. x

S

We All have things to be thankful for don't we?..........stan