Joan Rolls
Joan Rolls
Oct 06, 2015
This poem is part of the contest:

DAY or NIGHT

(Read More...)

Bush Dawn

We sit holding hands
in the quiet of the morn
this love in our hearts
glowing clear as the dawn

Dreaming of the homeland
so deep within our souls
the river cool and mighty
and the source from whence she rolls

The birds rejoice their freedom
the hills echo in reply
we meld ourselves as one with them
as they soar into the sky

Wildflowers adorn the hillsides
forming rainbow coloured crowns
lush grasses conceal the creatures
of which our land abounds

Babbling streams o'er rocky walls
are singing, sweet and clear
these children of the river
have a message we can hear

To sink our roots into this earth
cherishing each and every day
striving always to be close to her
while nature guides the way

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: myall lakes australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The lyrics of songs inspire me most these days

More from this author

Comments

S

Very descriptive of both land and emotions.Second stanza last line. Try using whence instead of where and see if you like it better......stan PS welcome to Neopoet and I hope you enjoy yourself here. I came here about 6-7 years ago after a near 40 year hiatus from writing so I guess we share that at least lol

R

raj

9 years 6 months ago

Dawn is never bright but has somewhat diffused sunlight...if you agree you may want to change it...

It appears that this poem is inspired by connecting with the natural elements around expressed wonderfully...however i am not able to perceive what made you dream of homeland..may be I missed some point somewhere..

Regards,

Joan Rolls

Thanks raj. Thats true so ive changed it to clear.i originally had light but that didnt seem right either! My reference to homeland is the deep desire we have to connect to our spiritual homeland as well as our connection to nature and country. Joan

ThEdges

Hi Joan,

Wow, I love this piece! The visual images are really awesome, and the whole poem makes me want to look for a beautiful meadow to go and relax in! And, needless to say, this would make a fantastic "Earth Day" poem! Excellent!

alidzain

In stanza 2, I couldn't see the rhyming words. ''souls'' doesn't rhymes with''flows''.

Alid

Sparrow

A lovely gentle flowing piece, the spirit awaits to be awakened to all things around, even the hard rocks are twirling magic.
Good write will look for others from you, Yours Ian..