raj
Jan 15, 2011

Blissfull Sighs

The liquid passion in your eyes
sucks me into the vortex of desire
released from its nether depths
we neck in the bubbly aftermath
floating on its ripples like Swans
soaked in goose bumps
listening to our heart's hub dub
receding into blissful sighs

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

R

I am flattered by the sweetness of your nick for me :)....good to know this write caused flutters...

Me swimming in Champagne? ahhhhhhhhhh what a thought!! why not....let's tip the goblets LOL...

thank you for the read and your inspiring comment....

much love and smiles...

R

never mind the double post....it can happen when one feels a wee bit tipsy....LOL...thank you for giving me smiles with your comment..

much love..

R

Thank you for comparing this write with the Bubbly...if so..i must say i enjoyed uncorking it...

much love n smiles...

judyanne

beautiful write
'soaked in goose bumps
listening to our heart's hub dub
receding into blissful sighs'
- sigh

love judy
xxxx

R

so good to see you again after a long gap...hope all is well....nice of you to visit this page and leave an expressive comment...

much love..

R

thank you for your appreciative comment....i dont know if this one neds a bit of tweaking u...

much love always...

mand

mand

14 years 3 months ago

reciprocated passion, hot and steamy. I just slithered down into this relaxing and passionate poem.

Wonderful imagery Raj - thank you for sharing

Love Mand xxxx

R

thank you for stopping by and leaving a very expressive comment "slithering into the relaxing and passionate poem"..in fact that's exactly what i had in mind while writing this one ..to create a levitating relaxing blissful experience..looks like i have been able to achieve that..

much love...

S

Good thing you can't teleport or the world would be overflowing with little rajs lol. I found this to be very descriptive without falling into being Too descriptive. The only thing you might consider is changing to :into the vortex, but that's just an idea..............scribbler

R

thank you for your jovial comment which made me smile...good to know you did not find it too gross which i too didn't want it to be...your suggestion about changing to "into" the vortex is appropriate..i will get it done right away...

loved

loved

14 years 3 months ago

.Bliss Eh!

You’re Bliss
Is as blissful
As was your kiss,
You shall never drown ever,
If in champagne you fish
And as I now learn
You also swim.
You can afford it
So have a free drink,
Ere you come out bloated
With champagne
And find something amiss
As you’re innumerable
Fish(es) kiss

I SHALL SEND THE KISS TOMORROW .TIRED SLEEPY TODAY