raj
Jun 13, 2015

Minimosity

Momentary bliss
of grace and humility
sparkled in dew drop

no mortal expectation
benevolent expression

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

Seren

Seren

9 years 10 months ago

Just beautiful what more can i say, what a perfect little poem

Much love biggest hugs Jayne xox ...

lovedly

tis lovely like minusculity
lovely seasoned poetry.. tis

lovedly

you excite me... others only tickle------

Perhaps some day
one day
upon my shoulders flowers you all will lay
when you come to know of my poetic way

I have no hard feelings against anyone
here or any where
all to me are abs dear

like you Ian or Geremia or Jess
I must confess
you are the strungs of a ladder I sway upon
and climb with shaky legs all along

a simple poet
a bard as you honour me
and I feel humbled and anchored to the bottom of the vast any where sea
where will you find a gem
if i say like me
Jess will say again blasphemy
and whinere you
so and so he may also call a bustard or bastard
heaven knows

upon your smiling faces
did Loved glow
and now this all Neopoets know

when Alid, Raj and Jayne know
all must Loved know.

Of course Esker and Snow man do
Those who kicked me
and spiked me earlier too
I like them too

they taught me the baby steps of poetic run
nay climb
now perhaps like them I too shine
but perhaps only
ask MOON MAN and many others who said
Loved blast you!

lovedly

i just learnt the meaning of sublime
i used to think tis some sort of lime
you are really sublime

thanx raj
some day when we meet
under an umbrella at Juhu beach
you may ask me
r u the Lovedly
and smile with me

Sparrow

Loved this one as is just want to ask if the form was strict:-
Momentary bliss 5
of grace and humility 7
sparkled in dew drop 5

no mortal expectations 7
just benevolence 5

Did you mean to make the last line 7 syllables in the true Japanese form or was it our poetic licence.
It is lovely either way,
Yours, Ian..

R

raj

9 years 10 months ago

Thanks Ian for your read and comment. Thanks too for pointing out that syllable count of last line is five instead of seven...I have fixed it now..

Regards,

L

Lonnie

9 years 10 months ago

Aptly titled, and though succinct, still carries its message with dignity and grace! Very nice work!

R

raj

9 years 10 months ago

Thank you Lonnie for your time and visit. Your read and comments mean a lot ..

Regards,