scribbler
Jan 13, 2011

MEN"S HEARTS

Some hearts run with ice and fire
cold of hate, heat of desire
with souls formed of solid stone
hence from birth they are alone

What they think is love, pure lust
which in time turns into rust
leaving him to seek elsewhere
for another fool to care

Guard your heart so full and pure
before you open it be sure
ere the push proceeds to shoving
that he's capable of loving

But don't give up on your quest
for a true heart in manly chest
for such is out there to be found
you just have to look around

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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More from this author

Comments

S

that the tough part isn't it ? the push proceeds to shoving is a take-off of when push comes to shove lol...............scribbler

S

I've had this on my mind for quite a while and finally got around to putting pen to paper. Still not quite happy with it ,but will improve it over time................stan

mand

mand

14 years 3 months ago

An age old problem tackled with grace, with wise words of warning. I like the way you encourage the reader not to give up " you just have to look around ".

Don't know what you could change on this one, It's a good rounded out poem, easy to read and understand.

Well done Stan

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

S

Thank you mand, but it seems to lack something lol.........................stan

K

Perhaps this is one you might try in freeform Scribbler? I think you know why. Lots of good stuff here. But then again, I don't know shit from apple butter, though I've lucked out on men for the mostly.
;-)

~A

S

just don't ignore the last stanza,'cause he Is out there. I am very pleased you liked this.........................stan