lovedly
lovedly
Mar 29, 2015

NO brothers R Coming?

When we are gone

There is no one there to welcome
no garland
no red carpet treatment
no special coffee
no juices for me
no milk no sugar is needed

but by then we are all just a memory
hanging about a tall Eucalyptus tree
far in the distant ocean
or simmering horizon
they all ask fast
has the sun set at last?
I hear someone say in my ear
though deaf be I may
sweet guy don't cry be happy
no cancer injections now for thee

and there will be no regrets
as you leave your mind
the earlier you go
all memories will be left behind

they’ll all be finally happy
do you know why?
b'coz of you now
they’re all in fathomless debt
for your death have no regret

pass away as quickly as you may
what's the point now to stay?
just like me fade away
come be my immortal friend everyday

come straightaway
I can't wait any longer
than sun set today...

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

10 years 1 month ago

I think you need to break sunset into two parts sun set

don't take me seriously because I have no poetic fervor but in my opinion the following lines spoil the rhythm

I bet
do you know why?
coz of you now they’re all in heavy fathomless debt
for your death have no regret

I liked your poem

Regards,

lovedly

I was having gripes
when i posted it
Now with your excellent pointers
I have modified quite a bit
hope its better

Sparrow

A good piece about the nothing that we face, just see if you can listen to a little of Sadie it is a little way into the recording where Sadie starts singing you believe in love.
Just an insight to the nothingness you say is there I wonder where this is:-
http://vocaroo.com/i/s11ofbdIumqo
It's a recording of the children I talk of,
Yours Ian

lovedly

you hear
send me the words
as I can't hear you know
age catches young and old
me too

Sparrow

It is a thing you must be able to hear to know the depth of eternity and its little helpers.
So sorry you cannot hear it but this one hasn't been written up as yet.
I wasn't going to bother with writing them up once I knew I could put them as they were on the net.
If I give you my site addy you will see there Sadie's Diaries, these are my writings of the tapes I have done so far, maybe you will be able to sense the energy there.
Take care young Bard,
Yours as always Ian and Children

lovedly

very few such directions dictate
and many read my works
but a bit too late
to remain up to date

L

Piece of writing. When I had my NDE I wasn't met by anyone - but I knew I wasn't alone, the Place where I went was a Place built on Love.