February 2015 contest

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Doors (Feb. contest)

In Rome an arch was like unto a gateway to
a realm unlike Eternal Rome could hope to be.

Two Pillars make one unknown door that will be crossed
despite that on the other side will evil be.

So what then is a door but passage on and toward.
Departure and Arrival is gross meant to be.

So open doors, you must you know or life stands still.
Most doors are changes, ruts are ended, I at last am free.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The poem's form is Alexandrine (iambic hexameter) with an identical rhyme scheme until the mind rhyme at the end.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern California, USA

Favorite Poets: Tolkien

Comments

so this concludes

you too are
an open door like me
no judge?
now i see!
so another door poetry
I will compose
wait and see
will snow man
also ye

only

Line 5 and the last line don't meet your iambic hexameter, but are we supposed to count the syllables when the message comes across. I believe all the "words" lead to Rome and yours ring so true sir!

I have a little trouble

With the scansion of the fifth and sixth verses - 'through and toward' and 'life stands still'
-but it is nothing major
(but passage through and on)
(or life becalms)

I like the way you have finished with a verse of hepameter...

I really like this Wes ( lol - you got me with the form) and, of course, with the uniqueness of your descriptive
good luck in the contest
love judy
xxx

damn it

All I did was double click :(
xxx

Wesley

I liked the way you defined a door, not quite the image of a door which is in the reader's sub conscious. You have rather made a reader like me what constitutes a door.

As for the vowel count and all those iamns, penta hexa meters, I am not qualified to comment because I am still recovering from the horrors of getting all those nearly right while trying my hand with a sonnet...lol...besides I do not think that the contest rules demand that the poem should conform to such strict disciplines...unless i have missed out on that...in which case I wouldn't have entered the contest "door"..

Regards,