Rula
Rula
Feb 22, 2015

Tyburn

sheeny
shiny
ugly
surly
to mimic the sheeny, shiny stars
abandon the ugly, surly scars

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A Tyburn is a six line poem consisting of 2-2-2-2-9-9 syllables. The first four lines rhyme and are all descriptive words. The last two lines rhyme and incorporate the first four lines as the 5th through 8th syllables in each of these lines.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

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Comments

Sparrow

Thank you for the introduction to another form of poetry, me having written about the Tyburn Tree earlier should have been aware of this form lol.
I have added it to the O-Z of poetry forms, but here is the part for your poem which was written perfectly as usual:-
A Tyburn Poem is a six line poetic form where the first four lines consist of just a single two syllabled word each that all rhyme. The last two lines are nine syllables where the fifth to eighth syllables are the words from the first four lines.

Example of a Tyburn Poem:-

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/tyburn.html

I may have a go one day, meanwhile take care,

Yours Ian..

Rula

Rula

10 years 2 months ago

for the add. However reading line five, I think something is missed there. There should be nine syllables there, where it only has five cra-shing- cla-shing-sea

Sparrow

This was an example from the net so I expect there is a big typo there some place I will check, clever girl lol.
Thanks , you take care, yours, Ian

judyanne

I do have a problem with your rhyming words - to me they are not really pure rhyme - the 'y' ending doesn't make up for the 'e' 'i' and 'u' vowels ( as even the 'u' sounds are different

But lol - that of course is just me wanting perfection - OCD gets me at times

Still love the write and the use of form
love judy
xxx

Rula

Rula

10 years 2 months ago

Of course. I agree with you about the rhymes. It was all for fun, out of the sonnet restrictions LOL
Thank you for the kind visit dear.

mand

mand

10 years 2 months ago

Interesting form - You've done a good job. Think I might have an attempt at some point. Thanks for posting. :)

Love Mand xxxx