scribbler
Jan 11, 2011

POST STORM'S EVE ( edit )

The biggest snow in twenty years
ended late this winter morning
finally in late afternoon
clouds break open
revealing a citrus sun

Tinting tangerine cotton candy clouds
and enhancing footstep's craters
as shadows swiftly lengthen

For a time of short duration
all white surfaces are burnished
by low-angled shafts of sun
while the arctic breeze
shakes loose bough bombs
of sherbert ice cream
which keep scavenging squirrels
on their toes

Now the shadows over rule
and crescent moon in east sky rises
accompanied by the evening star

So we'll let the chill wind and darkness
drive us inside
to share hot cocoa
before a warm fire

* another sojourn into the unfamiliar

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

S

thank you shirley, but I'm gonna work on it a bit anyhow lol..................stan

S

you know I always welcome suggestions ( I even take them on occasion lol) I'm going to try to do 1 free verse per week and need all the help I can get.................stan

K

You couldn't have picked a better time of the year to foray into free verse. It's like running naked in the snow. Cold but exhilarating, thank God for hot cocoa and a crackling fireplace, warm arms. ;-)

You done good.

I would choose another word for one of the *swiftly's*. And I like to use *elongated* shadows for their description.

~A

S

I think a bit of Canada is paying us a visit here in South Carolina right now. It's now 3 days after the storm and the snow plows haven't made it to my street yet. Expect the snow to hang around at least through next week end which is an exceptional duration for this area. I am pleased you enjoyed this write.............stan