is it my own fault
or is life just hard
is there more than a milkshake
in a broken down yard
does he dress to the left
with a hand on his hip
is she right on the money
can she now get a grip
will a flower grow up
where a tree fell down
will a cure for their riches
and itches be found
Comments
I would no more dissect this than a Basho haiku
or a Lear limerick.
It is perfect in structure, delightful and sound.
then I had to go and listen to that fucking terrible song
shit eh, the poem was still worth it.
I'm intrigued
The title 'pox' not 'paux', or 'faux'
The write, seemingly asking strange questions...l - unlike jess, would love to dissect this, if only i could get a handle on it ..lol....
The good rhythm and rhyme give the write a musicality, that almost (almost) makes it unimportant that the text doesn't much sense to me
Love judy
xxx
the title . . .
refers to a false pox cast upon us
the write . . . I guess it chimes or it doesn't.
I thank you for your interest
actually, that's unfair . . .
You ask a valid question so I'll try my best to answer. The milkshake bit is a play on that awful pop song with the lyric "my milkshake brings all the boy's from the yard". On the whole I'm trying to remark on the dichotomy of an average (hetro it seems) relationship with a little of Leonard Cohen thrown in for good measure.
I hope this helps - feel free to ask more questions
yes
it makes more sense to me now
thanks simon
i haven't heard that particular song.... i maybe would''ve picked up the theme a little more quickly if i had
good write
love judy
xxx
let me just say
that i love cryptic little writes such as this. i would have adored it anyway without your explanation, but knowing your musical references made it absolutely perfect. to make it even better, your meter and rhyme is perfect! great job on this one, simon. thanks for sharing it with us.
mag
for those who haven't heard the song "Milkshake" . . .
life has been sweet to you
LMAO
but it's so silly and fun
well shes fashionably lean....and shes fashionably Great!
never break the scene
never hesitate..
Morrison...been morrison on the mind
and sixties blues been crabbing the files
in my head...slide show dichtomony
trying to match the harmony
of the chant of disfunction from
my wait at the junction...
foot on the platform
other on the train
going down to new
orleans
to wear that ball
and chain...
great poem U got here by
the way...
I watch the people and the people
watch me
some got it those moves
effortless the glide
ability to hit all the highs
and slide on the lows
and inside nothing but
that cold rain be blowing
on their soul
snap open that lighter
flick open that blade
the wit of transpire
they get what they crave
my jumbalya of late is
missing something
I know the random will
bring it to me
I could look for a thousand
years and never find it
the blindness of intuition
...
reading the great poets
here this evening
then the television
then back here..
extremely witty work
that fast agility
my old friends like
that are off in the
world now...
Thank U!
Mr Wolf!