judyanne
judyanne
Jan 15, 2015
This poem is part of the workshop:

Humor In Poetry

(Read More...)

Gran and Pop (exercise 2, humour in poetry)

Josephine-Ellen-May Tyler-Melrose
(That’s Bobby and Sally-Anne's Gran)
has hairs on her chin, a wart on her nose
and a deep voice that sounds like a man.

But their Gran can fix anything broken, it seems.
(The kids secretly think she is magic).
And when she smiles, her face grows sunbeams
and she somehow turns comic from tragic.

She wears long black skirts, which reach to her toes,
and striped, multi-coloured, wool socks on her feet.
Her shirts are alive with buttons and bows.
With pink pince-nez glasses, she looks really neat.

And sometimes she dons a bright yellow fedora,
when she's dressed up to visit the city.
She goes mostly Mondays, with her friend who’s called Flora,
to Patty's Pastry Patisserie.

She always brings home, for the children’s pleasure,
yummy cup-cakes filled with cream and smarties,
and chocolate-fingers, those Sally-Anne treasures,
and the three have such wonderful parties.

But most of all, Gran, she so loves to dance,
to sway round the floor on the breath of romance,
and each afternoon she’s given the chance.
Let me explain this happenstance....

Josephine-Ellen-May's husband, Joe-Bert,
seems to less walk, and more sort of hop
(somewhere and sometime, his leg has been hurt)
but he flatly refuses a stick or a prop.

He has not a hair on his chin or his head,
but, a big droopy handle-barred fuzz on his lip
makes up, in part, for its lack of, instead.
With an impressive-to-look-at, large brace on his hip

you would be forgiven to think, by mistake,
he had not a whit of an idea of tune.
But he makes descant music when he’s not awake -
and when Gran first heard him, she nearly-well swooned.

With a big, red, and luminous, light-bulb-like nose,
he snuffles and snores through his afternoon nap
(a trait of the men of the clan of Melrose)
and creates mindless rhythm for rap.

Bobby and Gran, and Sally-Anne too,
on Gran and Pop's polished old oak wooden floors,
dance to vibrations they feel all way through,
as Grand-Pop sleep-breathes awesome musical scores.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: cheated a bit i suppose, adding the kids, as the poem is only supposed to be about two people - but i didn't make them much of a part of the poem (i hope)

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

10 years 3 months ago

Very funny indeed. I much enjoyed the read. You've absolutely did a good job with describing Josephine-Ellen-May and her husband in the utmost funniest way

For some reason I thought the last word in the last stanza would work better as "snores" instead of "scores" but it works as is if you don't think so.
Thanks for sharing.

judyanne

for the kind words
as for 'snores' - i've used it already in the previous stanza
and i think i prefer 'scores' - it brings, to my mind anyway, the thought of great musical masterpieces
lol
love judy
xxx

R

raj

10 years 3 months ago

Is there a remote possibility of claiming this to be our co-write? it would save me sleepless night caused due to the demands of coming up with even a good enough plot for the collaborative write and you do it in double quick time ..lol...

R

No one else other than me and Judyanne were supposed to read that message :)

Much love...

R

it does show how dumb i can get...i should have posted that to her as a PM..anyways it's good to know it made you have a hearty laugh...:)

mand

mand

10 years 3 months ago

Joe Bert sounds a character! with his luminous, light-bulb-like nose! and his musical snore. Ha ha

I see you've changed the rhyming pattern from the sixth stanza down - was that for effect?

Great sense of humour - bet you had fun writing it!

Love Mand xxxxx

judyanne

i wrote the first half, then came back later to do the second
it must've been my alter ego - or was it you raj? - changed the rhyme scheme
- well it was supposed to be written by two people :)

i hadn't even noticed lol

anyway - once you pointed it out it really annoyed me so i've edited it to be same throughout - except for the new connecting stanza
I don't think i've lost any impact....

thanks mand for your kind comments
love judy
xxx

mand

Great edit! it's no easy task to change a poem - fantastic job :)

Love Mand xxxxxx

judyanne

Thanks so much for the second visit
and for the compliment ...
love judy
xxx

Sparrow

A fun filled piece and well edited am still trying to see where raj was in this one lol, good work both of you,
Yours Ian

judyanne

didn't you notice where raj mucked up the rhyme scheme and i had to fix it?...

seriously though - thanks for the kind comment
love judy
xxx

S

Joe bert I thought you'd somehow come across a picture of me lol. Then I realized he is much better looking 0_0. A fun poem throughout but the meter might be a bit off here or there (I couldn't help myself lmao)......stan