Springs Revival

good one this...i wish you had posted it just at the onset of Spring..perhaps excitement of coming up with this write got the better of you...:) loved it though...

Much love...

Ant good seasonal poem is fit to be read at any time of year. Indeed a poem of spring can be just the ticket in winter's deep. Here are some ideas for your upcoming edit. Use any or none with no worry of dismaying me.
Instead of my usual line and stanza number suggestions I'm gonna just post the poem with some changes made so you can more easily tell if my ideas have merit. This is Not me trying to take over your poem but I suspect you already know that.
The sleeping earth awakens
and spring begins to yawn
with plumes of breath being exhaled
in the early light of dawn.

Underneath the old oak tree
in ferns of wetted green
young deer forage hungrily
after winter's lean.

Beneath budding velvet antlers (the velvet doesn't become tattered until early fall)
bucks sniff the morning air
while a new fawn staggers
beneath its mother's stare

Bushy tails and whiskers
in coats of brown and gray
sleepy squirrels' liquid eyes
pierce the light of day

The icy grip is over
and winter hasn't won
Nature is again revived
by the fingers of the sun

I hope this is helpful and you know I'd not put this much into a poem i didn't already like......stan

Can you understand that whilst I appreciate this as a perfect example of form, perhaps why it causes me cognitive dissonance, is that I have this belief that poetry should be stirring shit at every turn.
I hate it because I can't fault it. You tread the line between mawkish sentimentality and true poetic beauty.
Actually, you never get close to the line. This is fucking good poetry.

That as Jess says we are in the throws of Winter and this is a welcome to Spring Poem I shall start a Blog, with the heading of Spring Poems, so that we can keep them in one place and maybe have a best of the Spring Poems in there, this could be a start to the Neo Book by selecting Poems from various categories for their quality, what thinks you???
Yours will be the first and can be joined by more as they arrive, edits of the poem can be posted on PM to me and I will Edit the main poems.
I shall wait for feedback on this first..
Yours Ian

You had your chance six months ago lol.
I know it will be hard to write about Spring when its just past midsummer but we would need a starting point.
It had slipped my mind but I hope that later topics will be equal to all spheres of this planet..
Still I am sure the Southerners memories can reach back that far lol.
There are a lot of South Africans here also don't you start them up, I have lived in both hemispheres over the years but can still write of the joy of Spring.
Take care young Traveller,
Yours Ian.

I just had to say a few words on this one as it really made me feel what coming Spring is all about. Your imagery is terrific, your brevity of line length makes me envious, and the way you have pulled it all together is poetry itself! Congrats on this one!

Great meter, great rhyme ... but that's par for the course with you :)

Wonderful imagery, as too, per usual
and as per usual, nothing to fault

Thanks for sharing
Love judy
xxx

the wild yet lucid potentialities of the English language?
That small change makes a big difference.

good one.

Alid

This is an absolute dream to read and as it sits now I wouldn't change a thing, brilliantly written with a touch of 'you' that shines through in most of the poems I read from you, its a pleasure to read you again

much love Jayne x

I think this qualifies as pastoral. You can save it for Stan's workshop.