scribbler
Dec 10, 2010

A POEM FOR CHRISTMAS EVE

Come now children, gather near
you know that it's that time of year
when guiding stars adorn the sky
and reindeer are allowed to fly.

The recent harvest fills your tummy
with nuts and sweets and all things yummy.
Now is the best time to remember
if you've been good outside December.

'Cause Santa and his little band
have kept their tally close to hand.
All of those who haven't been so nice
soon will pay a heavy price.

Don't be dismayed ! I don't mean you,
your bouts of mischief have been few.
So you can still dream on of toys
and treats and other Christmas joys.

Be thankful you're inside and warm
this chilly night when snow flakes swarm
day dreaming of your heart's desire
while safe before a cheery fire.

We'll put the milk and cookies out
to help and keep ol' Santa stout,
and hang the stockings in a row
on mantle above the embers' glow.

So settle down on this cold night
before the yule tree's festive light.
Santa won't come 'til you're sleeping.
I see your eye lids downward creeping.

It's time wee folks head off to bed;
get tucked beneath a cozy spread,
and as I close the bedroom door
remember what Christmas is for.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Merry Christmas to all the little ones dear to ya'll. (Did a very minor edit to bring this back up in case anybody want to read it to young folks)

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 4 months ago

stuff! I really like the rhythm of this one. The theme is one that always hits the spot at this time of the year.
It flowed smoothly from beginning to end, and your language use, right on. The title is a little worn maybe, but entirely apt. I wouldn't change a thing. Great job! ~ Gee

S

Thank you very much for reading and such a nice comment.......................scribbler

Psyve

Psyve

14 years 4 months ago

Enjoyed reading this one... doubtless that this is something your neices and /or nephews would love.

A naughty young rascal's heart will definitely skip a beat or two when he hears the lines:

  • all those who haven't been too nice
  • soon will pay a heavy price

A ray of hope however comes shining thru with the next few lines:

  • don't be dismayed ! I don't mean you
  • your bouts of mischief have been few
  • so you can still dream on of toys
  • and treats and other Christmas joys

A gentle poem, written with tongue lightly  in cheek. :-)

Good work. 

Psyve

S

I wrote this specifficly to be read to young children. I am pleased you like it.............scribbler

Eduardo Cruz

I'll read this every year, great job.
please there's a couple of lines I'd like to point out

!st: (and safe in front of cheery fire
day dreaming of your heart's desire)
maybe more in the heart of it would be;
-while safe in front of a cheery fire
and day dreaming of your hearts desire-

2nd: (on mantle above the embers' glow)
-on the mantle above the embers' glow-

I loved it very much, this is a keeper my friend.
Always Eddie

S

I will keep these suggestions in mind during inevitable edit ( I'm also trying to come up with another stanza lol ). I am glad you enjoyed this little attempt...................scribbler

wesley snow

This is classic sentimentality. It is precious.
Have a couple thoughts, though (don't I always?).

I'm not crazy about Eddie's suggestions as they both change the meter for the worse (sorry Eddie).
Maybe...
"while safely near a cheery fire."
and...
"on mantle o'er the ember's glow."
I know this last uses what some will call an "Old English" contraction (it's not), but I think this cleans up the meter. I don't think in this case the article is necessary and as to the contraction... well, it is something of a "ye old" Christmas poem. There are some other meter problems, but none so severe as to trip the reader.
A really sweet poem, guy.
wesley

S

I am pleased you like this rerun. And I seldomhesitate to use the old contractions such as o'er ,ere,oft and such. I'll think over your suggestions and thanks for visiting............stan

Eduardo Cruz

hey don't be sorry about how you feel or your educated opinion. That was just my perception of it. It's a big world and we are all allowed our moment in the moment.

Respect to you!
Eddie

K

What a cheesy X-mas poem, reindeer flying in the no-fly zone,
Stanley's got a horn in his sock and Anna's bad to the bone,
darning her one and only holiday frock.

Now don't you feel badly? Just send money cheerfully. It's that
time of the year when we think of seventeen presents and the
stores are ho ho hoing all the way to the bank, now in the black,
but it ain't me jack.
I'm the grinch who stole christmas and put it in me sack.

Oh, my Stanley, me heart's growing bigger and bestest no way shall
she resteth, soon shall I bust, a little miss muppet who gathers no tuffet...

~A

Happy Holiday to All and to All a I don't give a damn. (Just kidding!)

weirdelf

and obliterate their sense of taste and style?
Crikey, mate, this is drivel, crappy rhyming, even worse meter, the only slightly redeeming feature is the line
and reindeer are allowed to fly

I won't be called grinch or scrooge, xmas is no excuse for bad poetry.

S

You need to say what you really mean lol. You know this poem's intended audience is young children not poetry critics. Considering how many people off site have asked for copies to read to their kids I'll consider this a success at its intended target. I appreciate your honest opinion but in this case I think I'll leave this as is........stan

S

You know I tinkered with this before which brought it back to head of stream right before this Christmas. So don't be suprised if about Holiday time this year you see it again with a few more nudges. So I guess that will give me a bit of time to better my metric skills lol.............stan PS Still keep in mind it's supposed to sound like a beloved older relative talking to nieces, nephews, grandchildren or even his young children on Christmas eve trying to lull them to bed.So I don't intend the meter to ever be perfect throughout as that would decrease the convesational tone of this.....stan

weirdelf

must admit I also like the lines
Don't be dismayed ! I don't mean you
your bouts of mischief have been few

S

A few little tweaks on this oldie.....................stan

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 4 months ago

A piece to hold with an old tradition, you forgot to mention the
"humming insect" that crops up, or flies through these pieces
Where the old time religion is not sacrosanct, but now we can say as we feel..
Back to the woods with you young man..
Yours as always Ian.T

S

Just an alternative for those bored with reciting "the night before Christmas" lol. Hope you enjoyed it...........stan

R

raj

10 years 4 months ago

I dunno who pulled this one out and brought it back on stream, but for which i would have missed out on this one. As always you have come up with a lovely poem which captures the Christmas mood. You are always perfect when it comes to rhyme. I am not sure why you didn't find a more perfect rhyme for the concluding line, i.e. an alternate to "for". May be something like I have put in parenthesis? Not sure if you find it good enough

remember what Christmas is for[lore[ or [yore]

Regards,

S

I did a tiny edit which brought this back up. As to the rhyme problem "for' and "door" Do rhyme but this might be a dialect thing.But at ant rate I'm pleased you like this......stan

weirdelf

I wish all you kind hearted deluded souls a Merry Christmas.
It is the Solstice, 4 days earlier that is the real meaning, before the Christians perverted it. I is the day (the 21st actually) of the Solstice the longest night and shortest day. It had and has real meaning in the real world, nothing to do with the evil fictional character Jesus that makes us feel originally sinned before his sacrifice redemption. That is nasty shit.

S

I was already aware that the 25th was not the real day of his birth. And that the Christmas tree and mistletoe was borrowed from the Druids. But isn't it a good thing that both believers and non believers can set aside at least one day a year in which we treat our neighbors as we'd have them treat us?
Now......have you chosen your 3 poems to submit to the book committee yet? Time is coming near that you'll be contacted to send them in.
BTW Merry Solstice and a happy hang over you old fart lmao..........stan

weirdelf

and I have changed since I posted that rather harsh comment, Stan.

Yes, peace and good will to all,
wishing you all a very happy Christmas.

lovedly

Christmas comes and goes
yet I wish all of you to know
in the context of
HUMAN AND HUMANE BROTHERHOOD
CHRISTMAS.... EID and DIVALI

INTERNATIONALLY WILL BE CELEBRATED EQUALLY ..

These three days seek
a feeling of simple and common
LOVE
from all
existing humanity
mostly from Jess,
as he's a POETIC guy
so very tall

I have been missing his pulling me up
now I have left wearing pullovers
coz there is no need
to be pulled any more

the dawns continue to dawn
and Stan
how I wish I am
in my later resojourn
as you say
am reborn
as Stan
as all here you alone adorn
maybe some will be like
me
someday!

lovedly

perhaps ..............around
would better do
Merry Xmas to
US of A
all you
with Love from
Canada
too

S

I wrote this for children who might be weary of hearing The Night Before Christmas lol. Have a great Christmas and a happy hang over lol

Geezer

better every year! Hmmmmm… I guess that Jess has changed up some
He's not so bad; I see it now
At least he's not calling dumb
The poetry from yon ancient brow

LoL, just couldn't help myself! Have a Merry Christmas/Holiday whatever. ~ Gee.
.

Geezer

Not really. I love seeing this each year and hope that you continue it as a yearly tradition. It is rather sad to see those that have departed from us; both willingly and not. How about we all aggravate Jess at least one more time; with a "Merry Christmas Jess, no matter where you are?" ~ Gee.
.

S

I figure most of us who have been here a while had already read this oldie. I brought it back so new members can be aggravated too lol. As for Jess...........I think toward the unexpected end he had come a long way toward accepting others as they are

Geezer

Jess did seem to mellow a bit, like a fine rum. Smoother with less bite. [I've been into the egg-nog again! ~ Gee.
.

Geezer

that we have to admire this poem and aggravate old Jess! I hope that wherever he wound up, he is having a grand time!

To Jess, our friend and dearly departed
Who would laugh at us until he farted
A curmudgeon on this holiday
Too bad, Jess has gone away

A hug and a kiss for good old Jess
I'll slobber on him and make a great mess
Have a drink or two and smoke a joint
Hope he's somewhere he hears, so I make my point

~ Geez.
.

S

I try to abuse ya'll with this poem each year about this time lol. And yep Jess should be having fun

Triskelion

and sweet. This deserves to be a tradition. Merry Christmas!

Thomas

Lavender

Hello, Stan,
Very endearing and fun - it seems it is now a classic! I enjoyed reading this, along with all the comments through the years. What a lovely Christmas tradition!
L

lovedly

Since 2010 till 2022
do you know how many eves you've retrieved
all in heaven have also joined in
this EVE TODAY
ON A STORMY SNOWY DAY
Stan stand by next eve
we may try to come again
so in the mean time cheers you gain
hope for centuries hence

more kids will come thence
lol
all d best scrible on

Candlewitch

I much enjoyed reading through the "List" of members greetings. how I miss them. happy holidays dear Stan and greetings to Susan.

*love and hugs, Cat

S

Yes there are a lot of ghosts on this thread who are all missed. May you and yours all have a merry Christmas