Lonnie
Dec 16, 2014

Ahab 2014

Ahab 2014

Mental archipelagoes protect my disbelief
pristine island fortresses of mind
surrounded by odd currents where dark creatures prowl a reef
that is the one and only of its kind

blasphemous iniquities have driven me insane
and fabricated lies I can’t control
delivered by euphoric mutants as a mad refrain
that echos through the canyons of my soul

un-pardoned sins like common pins protruding from my face
signify that dignity is lost
with nothing left to masquerade my eminent disgrace
and not one coin to help repay the cost

battered by the shattered bones of those I have betrayed
welts and bruises gather on my hide
to form into a bold tattoo symbolically displayed
as evidence that cannot be denied

the strain of pain and pestilence is glowing in my eyes
and little can relieve its vicious grip
a morbid tale of killer whale that ends without surprise
defiant captain sinking with his ship

C. Lon R. Bruso

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: New England, originally, now, Macon, N.C., USA

Favorite Poets: Poe

More from this author

Comments

L

Lonnie

10 years 4 months ago

Perhaps you are right, "Fan" was the wrong word for me to use, and I do apologize. However, even had I been tactful enough to use the word "Friend", would it make the situation any different? It seems that after my 6+ years here at Neo, I really have neither, and that is not saying a whole lot for all my "Fellow" poets, now is it?

mand

mand

10 years 4 months ago

You should get your work published - it's certainly good enough! I haven't read a poem of yours that isn't worthy of a book.

What do you think?

Love Mand xxx

L

Lonnie

10 years 4 months ago

Thank you for your confidence in me, and I have already self-published two books of poetry.

Ian.T

Ian.T

10 years 4 months ago

A very good picture of Ahab, a tormented soul taken to the extreme.
You gave the picture true colours, and as usual your write was spot on.
Have a lovely peaceful Holiday young traveller,
Our best thoughts, Ian, Anne, and the Children

L

Lonnie

10 years 4 months ago

Merry Christmas to you and yours also!

R

raj

10 years 4 months ago

I agree with comments of Ian and Mand.

Merry Christmas to you, members of your family, friends and well wishers and A Happy New Year 2015 just around. Wishing you all the best of Health, Happiness, Peace and Prosperity of all kinds.

Regards,