Awestruck was I to find
In this time of misery
Age of darkness
An emotional revelation.
A color so obscure
From a creature divine.
Nov 16, 2014
Theophany
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I wonder what others will perceive is the theme of this poem?
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
word shifts...
"upon a creatures divinity.."
words for me are coming back
slowly...
creature's is a personification of subject
of course....Divinity is something a bit
more and less of Divine....it is a state of
being rather then a solid noun description
descriptors are like shifting without a
clutch...it can be done..
a matter of looking at things..
rock is a rock
but it is also strata...metamorphic..
shift and rend..mute..and fragile..
smooth and polished
jagged and broken
rises to the earth and submerges
like a diving beast beneath
the tides at the edges of eternity
or.."on a creatures divinity"
almost like an oath or spell
this poem
I greatly like it in reading
Thank You!
Jahleel
For a creature divine:- should this be
"From a creature divine"
One of the Spirit spirits was asked if we could see him/her
There was a beautiful un describable blue light, we knew who it was.
This write is bordering on the other side to life and very good,
Yours Ian.T
Decidedly different
Not sure if I like it or not, but that's only a matter of personal opinion and not a reflection on the poem or its author.
Thanks for taking the time to
Thanks for taking the time to comment guys, I always enjoy reading your responses. In truth the theme of this poem was intended to be entirely sexual. In the end it sounded more like some sort of direct angelic experience so I slapped the 'theophany' tag on it and sold it :) .Perhaps I should not have done that