Some people tend to say things they shouldn't
Make dead wrong assumptions, I wish she wouldn't
About people they care to know nothing about
When they open their mouth
It would be wrong to put my fist in her grille, so I couldn't .
I'll think before I shoot
Vicious venom and a boot
In her face to cease the burning rage
Rolling in me like the ocean waves
It would be wrong to crush that tongue of hers always ready to pollute.
Take care your own business, leave mine alone
Meddling in the lives of others can get you stoned
Maybe not with rocks, but a sling shot with words the size of pebbles
Aimed at her head will help her remember not to meddle
In my life again, it would be wrong to skin her to her bones.
Comments
Barbara
The message that comes across your limerick(s) is absolutely of great value.
The word makes of you a friend or a foe in a minute.
However, as for the rhyme scheme (the ending rhymes) you need to pay more attention as line 1, 2 and 5 should rhyme (shouldn't, assumption. wouldn't). Can you see where it is off?
also line 3, 4 ( about, mouth)
This is only about the first of your limericks' series.
Also usually line 3 and 4 are shorter than the others.
I think you can rework this. You can do it dear.
Rula
Thanks I'm sure I can. I reworked some. Mouth and about seem to rhyme okay to me. I have consider using better and thinking about that one.
I'll consider shortening the line in those places. I couldn't sleep so I got up, wrote these, and lay back down. I'll revise.
Rula said all you needn't to hear.
Revise away.
I will
Thanks
G
I do. I'll research some
Ah, but they're all filth and hard on my tender sensibilities.
The rest of you need to up production of good limericks, so that I have more examples to study in my learning curve. Remember, I need dramatic or serious limericks with good meter if I'm to learn.
Yes read more limericks
aloud. Record them and play them back.
you forgot to include it in the limerick workshop.
Jess
Are these limericks off beat. Are there any typos or errors i need to know about.