Look not to my old fashioned way
That reflect faults that would haunt your day.
You've a brain to use
A world to peruse
Just be aware of what I say
Oct 31, 2014
Be Yourself.. Serious Limericks WS
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is now a combined effort so don't blame just Me, tra la Lee
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian
your language use and thought that went into this limerick is very good. As for the rhyme sequence, to me it fits the sequence...however I am new to this style...
Regards,
Ian, it's not a limerick.
The format is not negotiable.
"A limerick is not but a fable
produced by small men hardly able
to give a good rhyme,
a cent or the time
or I've fallen out of me cradle".
Forgive me for using my own as an example, but I'm new to this too, so I need the practice. See how lines 4 and 5 are considerably shorter than the rest? You can't cheat here. It's a limerick. You risk angering the gods by changing the rules.
Wesley
Thank you have looked up the format and corrected the glaring mistake, it should be OK now,
Yours Ian. T
Wesley, I disagree
the fourth and fifth lines are traditionally shorter.
I'm sorry, I thought that's what I said.
That they were shorter.
Wesley
My fault I corrected before the others saw the two long third and fourth lines. Now it's sorted we can carry on lol.
Yours Ian
just mind what I say
apart from what ws says
don't you think?
u missed a
don't somewhere
just don't or don't just
well very sorry for the intrusion
I have been directed exclusion
asked to be a running linesman
to stay out of the limy can
mine's always an outstanding submission
Loved
There is no need for don't in what I wrote.
"Mind what I say" means take notice of what I say.
The Scots use the words a lot, Mind is used in many ways and this is just one of them,
Take care young Bard, Yours Ian
i had a mind
not to mind
ur limy as per me is fine
how did u find mine?
Gem's go is good.
I had trouble with your last line Ian. I've had to take to the book of them I own to read the rhythm until it's easy.
They are beyond disgusting. Obscene. Whatever happened to innuendo? Graphic plumbing is more like it.
I'm alright.