ABOUT TREES: soul eliminates, I write better petry when they are short, Anyway.....

ABOUT TREES

The brittle branches of an old tree
begin to break and fall
when the years finally take their toll.
I never thought Time would betray
and break me in the same way.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Comments

Joe

I like this one but it smacks at not being in control.
There in your mind is a control place that skits about doing many things
Most times driven by your own desires and thoughts,
There held in the branch of a tree is the same patterns that are a part of you, you even give the tree life in its death.
You have much to do still, and you know it, so be patient and write to the best of your existence,
Yours Ian.T

I came to the site to tis

I came to the site to tis site to unpubllish this this morning, But the comments showed me that there may be some value to what I wrote, There are many metaphors that hold no metaphysical truth, But, then, again, nothing is certain...but one thing,

I am the tree
brittle and stiff
ravaged by the years
and when I fall
It is then I will know
if a tree has a soul.

Thabk you, good friend

ok. Thanks.

Internal logic inconsistencies.

Can you state to a certainty that trees and animals are un-ensouled? The last line implies that they can be, with great effort. If souls exist at all surely all living things have them, perhaps the universe itself. cf "The Primacy of Consciousness - Peter Russell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d4ugppcRUE (an hour long but very worth watching)

The other theme, age and death, raises metaphysical/moral concepts but, I'm afraid in a rather plaintive, even shallow way.

I think you could do much better than this.

Plaintive, yes. Not the best

Plaintive, yes. Not the best, yes. Shallow, never. As for trees . souls, etc , .what the hell do I know,? I don't delve into the metaphysical truth of my metaphors,

Glad to see you out and about ,my friend,

the very best,

joe

Joe

The very fact that the subject relates to a Tree in itself is testimony of contentment / fulfillment. Like Jess said, I too feel that it is wrong to presume that the Tree does not have a soul. I feel you may consider changing that part of this poem.

Regards,

Thanks, Raj, See my response

Thanks, Raj, See my response to Jess.

:) Joe

Joe

May be we are all just a part of one massive spirit, where each entity finds its own level.
Take care never fear a place you haven't been to.
Yours Ian

We all trees of life

Plants bear we devour
animals kill and also flower
humans alone eat and devour
each other hour by hour

no one will leave
ere the grave
so to face critique be brave
The sun has never set they say
why then we ourselves
should we betray

we are those trees
which alone seed
the genes have become immortal
notwithstanding which tree

there is no soul
there are no spirits
it's only your attitude still
which does not yet you still!

and so continue to fertilize the soil
why let anyone your seed spoil
toil as you may
some day
will come when we all will go away

no seed shall ever remain
genes will self sustain
we are the parent tree

live my friend with greater ability
you are the
TREE
in capitals here
why then have you any fear.
my dear!