What horror was this, that chased him so?
Nothing he could see
Did he really want to know?
“What is after me?”
Stay quiet now, use no lights
Locked doors and keeping still
Trembling now in the darkest night
Staying sane by force of will
Black his thoughts, of deep despair
He knows not where to turn
Evil stalks; follows everywhere
Red eyes flame and burn
Fearing for his very life
He hides in darkened room
Wishing for, more than a knife
Fitzy waiting for his doom
Comments
This lends to a climax.
Mog has possessed someone else and is coming to finish the job to set up more emotional chaos to feed him. Who has he possessed people? Decide and kill my Alabaster. Catch the new killer (even though he's innocent... really). Let's corner Mog and find out how fast he can switch from person to person. How many will die before we kill his host? Will even that stop him?
Start working toward a climax. The above is my thought, but others may have different ideas. However, the most important thing now is to work together. Follow each other's lead and don't go off on a separate tangent. We must somehow tell one story from many pens. Follow each other! Use each other! Work together.
Although it is become long now, we need to go back and read what we have so we know better where to go. Read the poem... then follow where it leads. Use the obvious. The esoteric will surprise everyone and be difficult to follow. We must follow each other. We must follow each other. Did I mention that we must follow each other?
Stan,
how is your leg? Are you up for sixteen lines? Ian is next after Stan, then Loved... it will be your turn then.
this is good
So now we have Mog, this invisible entity taking over civilians and causing them to perform unspeakable acts. An outbreak of psychosis or just pure desperation? I am ready to expose Anabel's idezntity..patiently awaiting my next go at this
We need more critiques on this one before I move it.
Let's start getting some story ideas here in the comment box. Give each other ideas as to where to go, so they might pick and choose from them as well as their own thoughts.
Geezer, tell me when you're happy with this one. Preferably after more comments.
I am...
happy with the way this turned out. I think we will finger Fitzroy for the murder of the headless man.
Fitzy doesn't realize that it is Mog that made him do it and he almost thinks that it is a nightmare that he can't wake up from!
Thank you...
very much! I'm glad that you enjoyed it! I tried to show how confused and terrified that Fitzroy is. I guess I did a good job, Thanks, ~ Geezer
Gee
This is great you have continued the thread and not mentioned anyone as yet I shall wait for Stan but am going to strat to sort out a few odd ends so that
1- another can come and help me (Jess want's a word )
2- We nail that Mackwill with the murder poor innocent man lol
My piece is ready bar last minute edit and as Wes says we need to start closing down the story, the detectives will have to sort themselves out, we have a prime suspect and just want him in Newgate.
There will be two heads without bodies hidden in the old Tyburn graveyard for ever, lol,
Yours Ian.T
I am confused
Who does "him" in the first lines refer to?
Then all the following pronouns. This is so dark. Maybe it is only me , but I need someone to tell me in order to be able to follow. Any help?
In the last line.
Fitzroy is running for his life.
Stan is up next. Then Ian and Loved. Then the Elf will add a section. Then me again. I can't wait.
Remember people, we need to be moving toward a climax. Use each other. This must be a team effort. Don't write about your character only. We have many to pull together. Don't be afraid to continue a scene and not necessarily start over each section.
Look in on the syllabus thread for pertinent discussions of where the story is headed.
I am ready to wrap up Anabel
Depending on what the rest of you come up with, will depend on the outcome for Anabel. I have some ideas on how to wrap up her character in this whole thing....cant wait for my turn.