scribbler
Sep 28, 2014

THE HOLLOW PLACE

Some limp along from legs long gone
or ride in their wheelchair
bearing the memories of past war,
bearing the brunt of strangers' stare.

Or they salute the stars and stripes
still filled with undiminished pride
hoping no one sees false arms.
Thankful they're not on the other side.

And there are others far, far worse
glass eyes replace thousand yard stare,
steel plates protecting injured brain
in a hospital for long term care.

Then there are those who walk the streets
whose injuries are of the mind.
They mumble to long lost comrades.
They never left their war behind.

Even those who have no injury,
no scars or even tattooed skin
carry a void within themselves
of another life which might have been...

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

10 years 7 months ago

those that you describe. I would have gone if they would have taken me, but fortunately, they didn't want me and I didn't go! I liked everything about this one, the story, the title and the way it was tied together from end to end. As per usual, you provide enough emotion to make one think about the story as a whole. Your rhythm needs work, but there is nothing that can't be fixed. ~ Gee

S

They're still around and the current battles add to their ranks. I was fortunate that the draft ended just as I became of age. But I would have been one who went. My classification was 1-H which meant I would be drafted but was on hold since there was no more draft. Thanks for coming by and leaving your kind comment. I'll see about cleaning up the rhythm after this sits a spell..........stan

R

raj

10 years 7 months ago

A very touching pictorial you have created here, drawing attention to the war veterans, unfortunately not getting deserved attention once they are done with the war, even though they have put their most precious lives on the line.

Regards,

S

Thank you. All veterans from any country return from wars as changed people......stan

Timbo

Timbo

10 years 7 months ago

This really is an excellent thought provoking poem Scribbler.
Tim

S

Thank you. Always good to see you've come by...........stan