docmaverick
docmaverick
Jan 07, 2011

Click

I possess a snapshot of you
in the camera of my mind,
you would've allowed me that courtesy
for it's the best print you could find!

You were standing alone in my garden,
and we both were on the same page,
the only negativity
were the flowers' jealous rage.

Other times, I sneak a look at you
and I can see inside your heart,
where I feel your dissappointments
and the rain begins to start.

But, the two of us, just laugh aloud
and we run down to the sea,
where each of us dives in, and swims
'til the currents set us, free;

and, after midnight in my heart
I find the courage I need, to say
"Let me wrap a throw around you,
and we'll find some place to lay."

For, time, and again I've held you near me
and wondered if you've known,
that how I hold you near me
is not exactly shown.

So, I begin to show you
too pale, in the nights' moonlight;
I pause, to take another snapshot
but, the exposure isn't right;

and, to both of our own wonderments
we each marvel, at the grace...
..the camera gave up, so willingly
when I was allowed to "click", your face.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates

More from this author

Comments

S

I agrees that the snapshots taken by our mind are superior to any photo. here's some ideas you can scan and disregard as you wish
l-8 change were to was
l-9 change other to at
l-16 try till the waves set us free( undertow sounds a bit sinister ?)
l-21 delete me
l-23 try something like how I hold you dear
l-26 delete too or night's
l-29 delete and

l-50 delete scribbler lol................stan

docmaverick

..i CHANGED "UNDERTOW", TO "CURRENTS".....THAT WAS ALL i COULD SEE, PERSONALLY.
DOC.