It's a world of business
the work ethic edges us
the people in the background
fade into the pale walls
nonchalant transactions
It's OK as long as you
earn a buck for yourself
even if it's off someone
else's back
The circus act of devouring
lions going through hoops
of flames or the magicians
doing disappearing acts
the fat lady in the freak show
making us glad we're not there
I don't live for the trying
business world
I look behind the scenes
to the forgotten poor people
with dark and dismal outlooks
Everyone is in it for themselves
Fun house mirror upon mirror
It's not about that
about what you do
but who you are
I light my path today
with the soft, sweet fragrance
of wonder and peace
I see a diffferent experience
the wind moving the branches
of the trees telling us to
change direction
The suffering of the moment
is starting to gleam for love
I am a channel for love
That is my great skill
Comments
Hello Jennefancy
and a warm welcome to the Neopoet. I hope you'd enjoy your stay where we would learn and exchange what I would like to call it "poetic skills"
I thought this is a really good first submission. It has some potentials for a good piece. I especially liked the extended metaphor and how you've used the circus as a reference to our daily life and how it goes.
One suggestion if I may, as you have chosen words and phrases related to the circus, I see some parts irrelevant with different set of diction. I am, however not saying this is wrong, but it would be more coherent if the same language and word choice is used through out.
and one tiny typo "nonchalent", shouldn't be "nonchalant" ?
sorry for carrying on before we got really acquainted with each other.
Welcome again .
A wonderful first post, and welcome to Neopoet.
This is unpretentiously written while expressing sublime truths. I so much look forward to more of your work.
A slight crit-
I look behind the scences
This typo is important. Whether you refer to senses or sciences is a significant difference.
You can edit the poem online by clicking the 'Edit' tab above the title but don't forget to change the original saved on your computer. Don't forget that Neopoet is not an 'archival' site, it is not meant for storage or publishing, it is a workshop for reviewing and working on your work, so don't forget to back up all your work.