Freedoms Way

Where to start.
Hack at my thoughts,
drive me to out places.
Slur my speech,
drown my sorrows.
Crap let me smile!
Jump inside,
this gilded cage,
bars that bend,
nothing can hold me.
Your fire scorched me.
A path never trodden,
go to hell, I will walk away.
Take all, you slobber,
away with false truths,
I am free, yet tethered.
Your tongue still moves,
wrapping me tight.
Friends cry my name,
if only they could feel,
the pain of the years.

I watch now water falls.
Birds on the wing.
Secret thoughts of mine,
walking away from you.
Each moment a dream,
scourge, quiet lapping,
as a cat with milk.
You have lost,
you cannot dream with me,
I am alone yet full.
There are far things,
seen and held close,
these are true thoughts.
No dangling promise,
a reality of satisfaction,
cloaking my soul.
Here is the new me,
cluster around my form,
touch me only when I need.
If I can stand more pain.
Now I am stronger,
leave me let me go.
Why do you cling?
I will shake you free.
I now have the energy,
here touching my soul.
A new life form.
A picture you cannot paint,
now my gallery is full.
I am now in ecstasy!
Goodbye..

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Just a thought of being in another place, fiction, for me.. Could be a dear John lol

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Leicestershire, Ex Moonraker, GBR

Favorite Poets: All those I meet or read about in my books

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Ian

this is a different from you, both level and theme wise I guss.
I hope it's all fiction like you're experimenting lately, though I can
feel some raw emotions. But who dares to hurt a gentleman just like you?
I doubt any one will do.
Be well dear Ian.

Thank you Rula

Yes this is fiction, but I guess there are many that would like to shout these words.
Just as you say I try new things, as often as possible, hope it wasn't too much like a shopping list, this is what happens sometimes in this sort of write.
Thanks again, I hope your people are all OK out there, my thoughts go out to them,
Yours Ian.T

Hello Ian

The lines in the poems are like thoughts in the mind, Nicely done.

Alid

so epicurial but

I SHAN'T SAY GOODBYE
YOU know why there is none awaiting to be read the undiscovered list between Rrula and me is dead you had promised but never read Esker fell in line but found nothing to mine so did Alid tis all fine that ends with all pins nine epicurial or not lest we all forgot Stan has no poetic fever on his behalf we did deliver and now undiscovered ones have no liver go and see if you still don't believe me loved has proved his worth Jess where are you hiding in the dense jungles Come and see what your students do bring a great fortune and glow to show Neopoets all now know undiscovered has had an abortion

No punctuation ....new poetry breathless.... read without hesitation.. elipses et all poetry is free verse after all
lovedly loved

Breathless?

lol. Admit it, you just don't want to change your "no punctuation style, that's all but we can't agree, you see, 'else the young readers will think its okay to write without them. Their poor teachers will have a hard time, I tell ya. lol

Alid

I have now had time to go through this piece, and put a few dots here and there, thanks for the reminder, hope it reads better now, lol.
My best thoughts to all at your home,
Yours Ian

Loved

After your talk on the undiscovered slot, what did you think of this piece, have I got to wring it out of your puter, or will it flow freely. lol
Your memory is short young Bard I use to spend hours commenting on the undiscovered slot and it was lonely.
Still like to know if you like this one ???
Yours Ian.T