Seren
Seren
Jun 05, 2014

a meeting of minds

In the silence
of this crystal night
shimmering,
entombed in light,
we'll tippy toe upon the stars

Moving in a universe
the tips of our fingers
write poems of stardust
as we shift
the mists of time
being graced in part,
a poets Valhalla

Fishing in the black holes
reeling the next dimension
through, meeting minds
from the center of the think
they ripple with the solar winds
ghosts of the eternal flame

Lavender light shaves the moon
sheets of light trickle in mirrors
imagination is reborn
again

and again

About This Poem

Last Few Words: For Ian...with love xxx

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

I

sensational presentation here. Very fluid, and embracing.

In ink,
David

Ian.T

Ian.T

10 years 10 months ago

This is up there with one of your best and the understanding is complete, have a grand tour, they will let you in you only have to ask, then another world of words await your quill.
Take care and know we are there with you,
Yours Ian and the Children.xx

Seren

I'm very happy you liked it, did you see the note at the bottom lol ? ;)

Much love always Jayne xxx

Ian.T

Thank you so much will put this in one of my books, I hope you are a little better today life can send some nasty's to us sometimes, you just hold in there as we are with you as always, think of those good memories of the children and watch them play, Yours Ian xx
PS:- you seem to understand how free the Spirit is and now with its strength you can cope with much more xx

Geezer

Geezer

10 years 10 months ago

those lines:
Fishing in the black holes
pulling the next dimension through
meeting minds from the center of the think
they ripple with the solar winds
ghosts of the eternal-flame

It makes me feel as though; Maybe in some small measure
we will be remembered through our work and our reactions to
the works of others. Whether we love or hate or just
are ambivalent, some of it sticks to us and
affects us. Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

Seren

Thanks for leaving your thoughts on this one, I think we all (not just us poets) would like to be remembered usually its the people out there changing history or the one doing greats feats of awe but every now and then a simple man or woman rises from the dust and makes a mark in history with their words or discoveries in science (I'm lucky to know and love someone doing just that)...my family and the people who I call my friends will probably be the only ones who remember me, for me though that's enough

Much love and higgilest bugs Jayne xxx

I

it is just not in the way that sensational people think it. It is in how impressed we become on those we interact with. George Carlin called it the HUM, as in we spend our whole life charging our Hum, and when we pass the resonating of that Hum becomes us across the cosmos, and around those who knew us.

alidzain

like this but I need to ask.
First stanza line 5, shouldn't "tip toe" be one word instead of two?
stanza 2 line 7 I didn't understand the verse"a poets Valhalla" Are you actually trying to say "as poets of Valhalla"?

Alid

Seren

Seren

10 years 10 months ago

Thanks for pointing out tip toe it was meant to be tippy toe I just fixed it, now to Valhalla its a place where warrior in Norse mythology go when they die, I looked it up for you I am going to post it here '

In Norse mythology, Valhalla (from Old Norse Valhöll " the hall of the slain"[1]) is a majestic, enormous hall located in Asgard, ruled over by the god Odin. Chosen by Odin, half of those who die in combat travel to Valhalla upon death, led by valkyries, while the other half go to the goddess Freyja's field Fólkvangr. In Valhalla, the dead join the masses of those who have died in combat known as Einherjar, as well as various legendary Germanic heroes and kings, as they prepare to aid Odin during the events of Ragnarök. Before the hall stands the golden tree Glasir, and the hall's ceiling is thatched with golden shields. Various creatures live around Valhalla, such as the stag Eikþyrnir and the goat Heiðrún, both described as standing atop Valhalla and consuming the foliage of the tree Læraðr.

Valhalla is attested in the Poetic Edda, compiled in the 13th century from earlier traditional sources, the Prose Edda, written in the 13th century by Snorri Sturluson, Heimskringla, also written in the 13th century by Snorri Sturluson, and in stanzas of an anonymous 10th century poem commemorating the death of Eric blood axe known as Eiríksmál as compiled in Fagrskinna. Valhalla has inspired various works of art, publication titles, popular culture references, and has become a term synonymous with a martial (or otherwise) hall of the chosen dead.

So a poets Valhalla would be like a poets heaven, I was trying to use a word that wasn't heaven its very over used, thanks for the read and the comment and pointing out my mistake with tippy toe..

love and hugs Jayne xxx

A

Arrow

10 years 10 months ago

and one to think on, too. I love the light imagery and the lines "imagination is born/again/and again". That should be the response to "Nothing is new under the sun." If there is a "center of the think", then I am almost be ready to go - almost but not quite!

Seren

I am very glad you liked this one I was for our friend Ian, its still in the works but I am very happy you thought it good

love Jayne x

p.s I would love to read some poetry from you, eh ?

S

One day soon we will all be able to explore those things banned to mortals. I really like this hence I'll try to ruin it lol.
stanza 1, l-5 change on to upon or among
stanza 2, l-3 try of stardust instead of in stardust
stanza 2, l-5 change dust to mists
S-3,l-2 reeling instead of pulling extends the fishing theme
Last stanza , consider a line break between last and next to last line to amplify impact

Well now this amateur will leave your poem alone having inflicted enough damage lol........stan

Seren

I love all your suggestions I am going to do the edit now ...thanks for the help I was still working on this one, thanks for the help and you inflicted no damage whatsoever lol

love Jayne xxx

M

I think I might have glided unknowingly out of earths reach and into the infinitesimal abyss of space... :)

Seren

Welcome to Neopoet, I don't think I have seen you around before ? I know most people around here but I most definitely don't remember your nick, Have a wonderful time here at Neo, let me know if I can help I no longer hold positions at Neopoet but if I can help you don't hesitate to ask and if I cant help you I am sure I know someone that can

Not sure where you drifted to but I am glad I could take you there, Unto Oblivion indeed :)

kindest regards Jayne x