throng by the wayside moon
a faceless lotus plume
the dawn were his of a man
encountering the spirit ones indanthrene
match of masquerades recast
birthcry... concourses barefoot
unseen wind pluck by collage
sullen weary spider maze
snuff wizard to sprinkle
lyre of mangroove ceadars
in servitude picks graze
after bows blitz adulation
dais pierce light blade; bear fruit
to leafage-compass of how they yearn vigil
Apr 25, 2014
moonless night
About This Poem
Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I can dig it
Wow. I've never encountered a poem like this before. This one confuses me, but I am all the more attracted to it. I gather that since the title is moonless night, the poem can be some kind of description of what is going on during this "night". I hope I got it right, and if I got it wrong, please don't throw vegetables at me. I can visualize a lot here, it reminds me a bit of the poems Kerouac wrote in Big Sure while sitting by the ocean. Good stuff.
thanks
some of the images that might be flickering are the spider maze, which is life's journey, and snuff wizard is the wind making leaves fall, i see the trees leaves serving the wind by bowing to it, i also see it as an adulation, but the poem is poignant on the sadness of the night coming bringing the day to an end
I can dig it
Wow. I've never encountered a poem like this before. This one confuses me, but I am all the more attracted to it. I gather that since the title is moonless night, the poem can be some kind of description of what is going on during this "night". I hope I got it right, and if I got it wrong, please don't throw vegetables at me. I can visualize a lot here, it reminds me a bit of the poems Kerouac wrote in Big Sure while sitting by the ocean. Good stuff.