a jocund Amoeba in wonder-world
uses feelers
whisk terraces of vermin escort
anvil of fez
cowering echo considering.
unite my path finder........ foundering
sweat gland glad
showering torrents,
fixative nomads
audience becomes evasive ethos
adherence casual, yet tap strut
in the swarmp. Tick dwells
well his waters spume
spurious burglar overtaken
Last Few Words: the visitation is about the coming of inspiration to a poet, the amoeba is shapeless this represents poems shapeless and not constructed but sought, feelers also represent the soul searching for the right words to express oneself , vermin's are like rats when one see's them one immediately gets an anvil to kill them, i see this as chasing inspiration while fez a cap represents the head, all this is happening in the head of the poet echo of his soul crafts a poem , the sweat represents the rain of toil for the poet showering inspiration, he is a fixative nomad because he is hovering in his mind far and vast. the base of a tree which signifies death refers to time ticking which does not dwell, spume is used for its colour seeming white, old age comes like a burglar to steal the hairs from black to white
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hello Emeka,
I really appreciate your explanation of the poem. This is a very surreal poem without the explanation and I enjoyed it both with and without the added information.
I really loved the lines "sweat gland glad" and "fixative nomad" because they each seem to be an oxymoron but still make sense. For instance, no one ever really seems glad to be sweaty, or people often sweat when they are experiencing emotions other than "glad", such as "nervous". Yet in the poem, they work. They not only sound cool, but evoke emotions of reflection and inspiration, which is what the poem is about.
If I could suggest one thing, it would be to omit some of the periods on the line "unite my path finder........ foundering". Three is plenty and I think more is distracting. I hope you don't mind me making this suggestion and that it is helpful to you.