I walked as if dreaming,
feet swallowed in Autumn colours.
Dust rising as leaves all around,
colours crowded my mind
Beauty beyond my scope
my vision impeded
Reeling senses sought me,
silent words now thoughts.
Amazing spaces drawing my will,
eyes extending as a birthday child
Drinking this in with sighs,
my memory failed me once more
Where am I??
Ridges of black walls,
try to confine me.
A landscape flows,
a rainbow rises.
Like falling leaves,
their quiet symphony
Fields only felt deep inside,
not snared by eyes.
Scenes moving effortlessly,
rising, then falling,
A lullaby of love,
you sleep you dream,
Please tell!
A thought was whispered,
echoing in my mind,
"I shrank you so"
Then on these wings,
of love you flowed
I am the Papillon free,
in your mind for all time.
Comments
Hello Ian
I'd call this "a free Papillon" which is very expressive and it is all what this piece about.
Much enjoyed this piece. Light and fun to read.
Thanks for sharing.
Rula
Good morning,
Thank you for your visit and comment, this is one I have edited from a year or so ago, the effect of being shrunk and put on a butterflies wing, it just seemed a lovely place to be, you have a lovely day over there.
Yours as always Ian.T
Good morning
to you too. :)
Have a nice day.
I thought I was the only
dreamer
East of Paradise
You are a bit way ahead
Friend......Ian
Loved
I have a phone line to dream land and the vision side they feed me, I love them all they give unconditional love to all, so they have your phone number LOL Take care Young Bard, Yours Ian.T
Gorgeous!
My only crit is in the early stanzas a lack of connecting tissue leaves it a tad skeletal. Perhaps you can hear it in my reading.
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/only-in-dreams-by-ian-t
Jess
The beauty in your words portrayed the thoughts of the poem.
I have modified a few stanzas and tried to join the whole thing into a circle.
I believe that a lot of writing should return to the start at some time in the last Stanza.
This was a piece I just wrote and didn't bother to edit that much, I just streamed it raw as it was, I like the raw words sometimes they portray the thoughts better than the polished piece where flow and rhyme come in and it sometimes appears false.
Thank you very much for your continuous reading, it will live a;ways.
I sent you a post it pad on what we call an easel card, just unfold the thing and put it where you can use it, lol, the first note is mine..
Take care of you.
Yours as always, Ian.T
ta
excellent revisions.
Ian
Thanks for walking us through various landscapes your mind discovers in your wandering which is your forte...
Regards,
raj
all of us can use this way of thought, just dream a while then think the dream and tell others in your writings,
Thanks for your visit, Yours Ian.T
lovely write
the exploration of thematic is second to none, and the poem is not monotonous which is a problem with expressions ,your intriguing write is water-colours spread upon glossy rainbow