Truer words were never spoken
purer motives never found;
I tried healing a heart that's broken
from the way 'twas hurtfully bound.
Speaking simply, and directly
I tried hard to ease the binds;
I untangled, and set the strings, free
just to ease all troubled minds.
I have never had more troubles,
and, with as articulate as I am;
I then had to burst my bubbles,
for, I could speak not! Worth a damn!
It was most difficult to swallow
with my big foot in my mouth;
my train of thought was hard to follow,
seemed all logic then, flew south!
Public speaking, done in private
is an art-form I must "hone";
I tried and failed to mend a heart, that
while still was hurting, 'twas my own.
Comments
LOVE IT
a broken heart can be a real pain but someone told me its better to have it then never to love at all...just a thought
Alid
Straight from the heart
For me this poem had a feel of the Rapids because it flows straight from a crestfallen but honest heart without abandon. A few suggestions for you to look at just in case you wish to edit:-
I untangled, and set the strings, free [ i believe the comma before "free" is not necessary]
instead of "and, with as articulate as I am;" try [ though as articulate as I am] which to me flows more smoothly with the line before
Other than that, I could connect with the honesty of this poem which is profound. Thanks for posting.
Regards,