Driving slowly through a predawn void
road's center line all that I can see
all senses are fully employed
to not crash into an unseen tree
Come daylight I am at my goal
as the fog begins to swirl
like water on a rocky shoal
I watch each tiny droplet twirl
It's still impossible to focus
eyes strain to ferret out detail
of objects in my present locus
along a barely seen game trail
Trees and shrubs loom like dim ghosts
they appear and vanish with each stride
my world extends ten feet at most
who knows what this fog may hide
Now this mist takes on a glare
and turns to a brilliant white
the days sun is shining somewhere
farther objects slowly come in sight
At last the cloak begins to lift
revealing lowly grass and weeds
like a horizontal cloud rift
as on the fog the sunshine feeds
The sun now finally breaks through
last wisps and tendrils fade from sight
disappearing into the sky's blue
conquered by the late mornings light
Comments
fog
I was driving in the predawn yesterday to the last hunt of deer season and cursing the foggy road. Upon reflection I realized that even fog has a certain beauty if one paid attention, so I jotted this down upon my return home last night. So glad you enjoyed this rough draft............stan
Hi Stan
Ahh yes I agree with Shirl + At last the cloak begins to lift
revealing lowly grass and weeds
like a horizontal cloud rift
as on the fog the sunshine feeds.
You really describe nature in a wonderful way.
Really enjoyable to read.
Thank you Stan
Love Mand xxxxxxxx
hello mandy
I just try to write what I see. I am pleased that some enjoy my rambling writes lol................stan
I like it Stan may I comment here
This is good but I just believe you can shorten up some lines to mean the exact feeling you mean to portray here. i just stumbled up a bit with some of it but I do believe you can tighten this up and polish it to perfection. It is different I feel of you but I like where you are going with experience out of your comfort zone. Keep it up sounding good here
Magics with Love to you and family for a happy happy writers new year - 2011
hey mag
I guess you noticed this listed as a rough draft, so I fully expect flaws to be remarked upon. I will let this sit a day or two before my first revision although I already see a couple of places that need attention. I appreciate your taking time to read and comment.................stan