I,
a daughter of oceans
held in the palm of mother earth
a being ignited with a fire
that wove a heart of the wind
lifting,
torn from pages
floated in the firmament
I was
—-
I,
a whisper of echo
that was the call of sorrow
in a moments ecstasy,
being all and nothing
floating
I,
a speck of dust
finding niche within earth
a sarcophagus made of crust
healed with time,
and budded
to life
—–
I,
am a daughter of the sea
held within the spirit of mother earth
a being ignited with a fire
that weaves a heart of wind
lifting, to be rebound in all chapters
floating in the firmament ,
I am, again
Comments
Dearest Jayne
It is a nice take on shall i say "discovering the essence of one's being/existence". I believe many if not all at some point in our lives do this self appraisal / introspection, which if i read you correctly was the essence of this write. I liked the structure too. Perhaps you may want to take a re-look at the title.
much love...
Dearest Raj
I guess it is a sort of self appraisal, I wrote this one years ago but I am only just editing it now and finishing it off.. thanks for the read I am glad you liked it
much love and hugs Jayne x
jayne,
i agree with raj. this is simply defining the essence of self. this is a new style i see here and i must say i loved it. you never fail to amaze me..good job!
Love
Alid
Alid
A defining essence of self that's a good interpretation, its not a new style I have many poems written like this one, I used to write wholly and solely in rhyme and then a friend challenged me to write in free verse well the rest is history, I also love writing Haiku and have many that I have never posted maybe I should start posting some of the poems that have sat gathering dust for the last couple of years...
love Jayne x
Tell you what?
Tell you what?
Dust them off and put them all together titled "Done and Dusted Coos" :) It would also not be bypassing the Neopoet advisory of "not more than one a day"
Raj
There would literally be hundreds of poems, I kid you not, I have more poems un-posted than I do have on Neopoet and another site lol One day I will get them all posted its just I wont post a poem until they are edited and unfortunately I don't have enough hours in the day to get them all finished one day when I get old I plan to sit and write and edit and one day my kids and their kids may look back and say Nana had a way with words lol
btw did you have any suggestions for the title I have never been able to think of an alternative
Jayne x
How about
"I" or simply "Self- appraisal"? just a thought
Love
Alid
Jayne
Make sure you have the soft formats backed up and it would be wonderful if your kids and their kids continue on the poetic voyage you have begun. As for suggesting a title for this poem how about "Inner light" or "Insights" or "Resonance" or I-Scapes or Intones or I-disc? Just a thought...
much love...
Thanks for the alternative
Thanks for the alternative titles guys I will give them some thought I have to say I really like resonance lol
I am afraid I am a child of technology but I do have all my work backed up on two separate hard drives I have about s thousand printed out and in folders but I have a couple of thousand to print out and put into folders
love and hugs Jayne x
Gosh! Thousands already with
Gosh! Thousands already with printouts and backed up on 2 hard drives?
That's pretty cool. With those numbers, Jayne you make me look like a puppy just finding his way around :)
much love and hugs..
Raj
I have been writing poems since I was about 10 I only started getting serious when I found Neopoet a few years ago, I have learned so much since I started here the first poem I posted on the old site was a poem called for my mother, I think if I remember correctly Ian was the first one to comment on my poetry way back when but I am not a hundred percent sure on that one lol...
I am old hat at poetry now but I still have a very long way to go in my books
much love and hugs Jayne xxx
Jayne
I didn't know you have been here that long...but it's good to be able to read those poems I have been privileged to read..
much love n hugs...
jayne
How about posting one of your Haiku here?
Love
Alid
Published already but here it is Alid
lost in the ripples
Mirrored mountains gleam
Ripples erase reflections
Water moves away
Love Jayne x
Nice one, love
thank you very much
Love
Alid
Same here, Raj
I share your feelings. It is a privilege to read her works. I wonder how many of her works have already been published.....Thinking of getting some of them as part of my collections.hers, Ian's, loved, Jess's and yours as well i want to share them with my loved ones these beautiful poems...
Alid