A gorgeous silence
fell on your departure,
air that once shimmered
ire and malice,
is now clear and free
and fit to be breathed, in
days were lost,
the minutes crept
into numb hours,
feet turned circles
into squares
dumb of what to do
where to go
the mind flooded
with vast arrays
of pictured thoughts,
emotions scream
to boil, then nothing,
blank screens
all the way round
anchoring self
onto a listing lull
instilled the sublime,
falling for the silence
and drifting into the
grace of peace
I find myself
beautifully solo
Comments
jayne
good story of the space left by someone leaving, it also gives you time to think of all the lovely things you can fill those spces with, Take care and know that the tap of a key and we will be there, Yours Ian.T
Ian
I'm sure you understand where all this comes from, some of its autobiographical some maybe small prophecies... I know your but a key stroke away that always gives me comfort thank you my friend
Thanks for the read I appreciate it
Much love always JC xxx
What can I say? I will just
What can I say? I will just say that
Between
A gorgeous silence
and
grace of peace
is that catharsis
leading you into
a beautiful solitude
words have emoted pretty well
much love and hugz...
Thank you Raj
I glad you liked it
Love and hugs JC xxx
solo
has a totally different meaning
for many
your solo
soliloquy
is wonderful
Thankyou Loved
Very happy you enjoyed it
Love JC xxx
Greetings
This well conveys your emotions without being mauldin. A few ideas for you to sit around and think about as heat of day forces sweat to drip off your nose(poetic prose? LOL):
Feet followed circles
within squares
3rd stanza , l-5 I'd have isolated "nothing" either by putting ellipses in front of it or by putting it in its own line
The first stanza was as good a set up for the rest of the poem as I've seen in a while...........stan
Stan
That's an awesome idea for "nothing" I will include it in my edit, I will give your both suggestion some thought though in leaning with turned but I may change my mind, I'll be doing a fait few edits in the next couple of days this will be one of them...
Very glad you enjoyed the first stanza
Love JC xxx
Once again
she takes my breathe away
My lady, what can I say?
When you spin this beauty
I felt it lit with honesty
I am mesmerized
as my soul take flight,
celebrating an angel's art
coming straight from the heart
Alid
Do you know how many times I say to myself "I want to be like her."? See your works which I have commented and multiply it by a hundred...
Alid
That's a beautiful compliment, I am nothing special, I write my little scribbles and hope that people find something to enjoy or connect with, that's the most that any of us can ask for, I can share here and say what I want without fear, opening up a part of me that's closed off to the rest of the world, and a lot of what I write is truth or part truth, I find the best poetry is the real stuff
thanks for your lovely lovely compliment it really made my night I have been unwell and that just made me smile
big big hugs of love JC xxx
jayne
I think it depends on one's perspective point of view. you may think you are nothing special but i've been told that everyone is unique in their own way. My dear, what you call scribbles , others may call art. i say what i mean, I'm always eager to read your works. they are precious to me, both as a source of inspiration and good examples of great poetry. I agree the best poetry is the real stuff.
I hope that you are feeling better when you are reading this. its good to know that i've made you smile. like Ian have said. you know that at the tap of a key and we will be there,
let me be the candlelight
in your darkest night
to accompany you
until the day returns
sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite
rest well, my friend..goodnight
Alid
Alid
It makes me very happy that you enjoy my poetry, we all want to be read but at the end of the day its a bonus, I get such a thrill from writing I always feel a kind of rush when I am writing, Sometimes you write a poem that you instinctively know is good, that makes all the work worthwhile :)
I don't know that my poetry is great but I appreciate the thought, I will be writing till I die its in my blood and I cant get away from it
Your little verse reminds me of a line in lord of the rings
"let this be a light for you in the dark when all others go out"
lovely
love JC xxx
jayne
that's like my fav fantasy-based story of all time! i do share your passion for writing, jayne. some of the songs and movies i enjoy makes me want to write a poem about their theme. sadly though , the attempt is not as successful as i wanted it to be. some even turns out crappy while others just didn't get written 'cos i got stuck again. Take for example the song "diamond" from Rihanna. i got this story in my head about a girl who just realize her best friend is actually in love with her and she has decided to accept him. but I just couldn't find the right words,:o(
Alid
Alid
I also have a passion for the Tolkien stories, I don't know if you know but he was also a poet you should have a look sometime :)
Hmmm I don't know if I should give this advice I might get crucified but its hard to write poetry about something you haven't experienced it takes someone with great talent or someone with many years of experience to pull it off. I know what your doing, I have done it myself, BUT if the theme really appeals to you put yourself in the picture become part of the poem and bring that with you to the page, try and imagine the emotions the person is going through you can imagine the scene that's easy well for me it is and experience it as best you can without actually living it. Read stories about it there is always a million stories on the one subject submerse yourself in the topic until it becomes a part of you
I have found for me the best stuff comes from the real stuff there is always truth or partial truth in my poems, that you can count on
love JC xxx
Don't you sleep?
and fit to be breathed, in (please fix the comma).
Another good piece.
Not much about 3 hours a
Not much about 3 hours a night... will fix the comma didn't notice it thanks for the heads up
glad you enjoyed it
Love Jayne x