For Carrie

And what of the night, Titian?
What of the night?
It is all I have now, Titian.
It is my only light.

By moon and star I see.
In absence I see greater.
In torch and candle, hearth is he
who changed me for the better.

But what of night Titian?
What of the weary night?
Such webs imprudent spun!
I begged.

He laughed.
I never thought the change would hurt so much.
Ah, wicked was the whoreson’s touch.
He laughed.

He broke my legs and broke my ribs.
“They’ll heal!” he laughed,
his spirit thrice too glib
and then he broke the neck.

He turned it oh, so far to bite.
I could not see, I could not feel.
Abandoned to the night.
What of the night, sweet Titian?

I crawled awash in smoke
and hid beneath a bramble bush.
Each bone I wear he patient broke.
His last words held a pithy “shush”.

How could I know I screamed?
How can I know I weep?
I lay all day and dreamed.
How can it be I sleep?

What is now? What is then?
Where was the night?
I no longer cared,
but what of it, Titian?

What of the blessed night?
The hoary, weary night.
I woke into it, Titian.
I woke and found it mine.

It is all mine, dear Titian.
It will always be mine.
‘Tis black and now at last ‘tis won
and now, my love, ‘tis time to dine.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is for Ian's and Stan's challenge to write a vampire poem. I attempted to write it in the style often used by Carrie.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern California, USA

Favorite Poets: Tolkien

Comments

lovely ! I enjoyed, thanks

lovely ! I enjoyed, thanks for this wesley

in the last line, i think its

in the last line, i think its time to die, such meaning i connote

WOW

This was intense, the words were beautiful and flowed together elegantly, like you always make them do. I am speechless, which does not happen often. Certain parts spoke volumes and really felt personal. The imagery was amazing. Thank you....

Wesley

This is remarkably lovely for its simplicity , unique style and engrossing. I almost lived that nightmare you scripted so finely ...Thanks for posting this.

Regards,

Wesley

Such an outburst, they are coming to take you away to the funny farm, suggestion find a safe place to hide in the day,
or they will surely find you, they are not gentle with the people of the night.
Take care great write for one so new to this freedom lol,
Yours MadIan,
I was aware that you called me mad,
that was OK till you changed it here to Titian,
Loves you anyway