scribbler
Nov 04, 2010

OLD BARN

A huge old barn sitting alone
overgrown fields all around
its foundation made of local stone
with hand-hewed framework that's still sound.

The once red roof now rusty brown
with faded "See Rock City " white.
One rolling door has fallen down
the other is leaning toward the right.

All the siding's bare and gray
save peeling red beneath the eaves
betraying a well kept yesterday
now dilapidation, no one grieves.

My mind sees how it used to be
with loft full of fresh cut hay
verdant pastures far as I could see
with cows or horses in each bay.

But those days are far in the past;
the roof now leaks to loft and stalls.
Who knows how long landmark will last
until one day it leans and falls ?

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Among the first 5 poems I ever wrote and still being edited lol

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Victorclaude

This one took me right back to the Smoky Mountains where I spent twelve years living way back in. I remember those barns well, and the See Rock City signs.

What a trip~!

Thanks for this one.

Victor

S

I am a bit suprized anybody on site connected with the rock city reference. I'm glad you enjoyed this......scribbler

judyanne

especially
'betraying a well kept yesterday
now dilapidation no one grieves'
- sounds a bit like i feel (smile)
love judy
xxxx

S

the older I get the more I appreciate other old things. Glad you liked this.........stan

S

more likely to write about pizza than pisa lol good of you to come by......stan

S

time is the one thing we all must contend with using carefully . Come by any chance you get......stan