Your eyes
wetted like the
morning dew.
Bathes in the
bashful beams
of blue.
Everything seems
to disappear
from my view.
Leaving only
me and my
love for you .
Jun 10, 2021
Your eyes of blue
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
...due...?
did you mean dew? Your poem has promise. I enjoyed L4,5 and 6 especially
Thomas
Thank you
Yes I have corrected it and thank you for your comment
Very nice piece,
Shows so much love
Thank you
Thank you I try to put emotion behind well my inspiration is music it usual helps me come up with an Image for me to get an idea or a rhythm for me to follow .
Hi
Hi
I wondered why you had chosen the line breaks in your piece for the visual appearance?
For the reader breaking the lines in this way is a disruption to thought, I think it would read better as longer lines your enjambment is leaving the at the end if lines which is always a waste of that prime position.
Try it with longer lines and read it aloud and see what you think. You may disagree.
Sam.