Disciples of emotion
Protectors of innocence
Children of passion
Baptized by pain
Artists of the soul
Their heart speaks
In words of truth
That exposes
Heals and avenges
No army can defend
The artillery of a pen
No general can outwit
A mind bathed in knowledge
No politician can speak louder
Than words from a soul
Isolated from rationality
Labeled by society
Inspired by agony
Kept in their hearts
Needing only a pen
Making tears fall
From the blazing sun
Taming beasts
Exposing corruption
Capturing wandering minds
Replenishing dry souls
Such power
Frightens kings
A deadly Weapon
That produces beauty
Only the heart of a soul
Knows a broken world
And tries to offer roses
To a garden full of weeds
Comments
Powerful write paul,
I almost fled screaming at the title, it is like an invitation to shallow pretentiousness, it's a tribute to your writing that you carry it off.
A couple of small things-
Their heart speaks
In words of truth
One that exposes
Heals and avenges
[ "one" truth? this is a place where no punctuation can make meaning unclear. Perhaps lose "one"? there are many truths]
No general can out wit [outwit]
In the last stanza, I am very wary of rhetorical questions.
Such power
That frightens kings
The only weapon
That produces beauty
[the repetition of "such" was also a bit of a worry]
just quibbling, I know but
Only the soul of a poet [only? surely artists and philosophers can have a shot at it too]
Overall a courageous, ambitious and successful write.
Paul
I have to come read this again but I will say this on first read it was amazing and it hit my soul in more then one place. I really like your writing Paul and no not because you are a trustee here. It is because I can always find a piece of me or my life in your words for some reason.
I guess you could say a connection of souls through written words... I kind of like that.
On your title this is just a thought here as it reflects in the write
Artists of the soul
I kind of like that. How about you. Actually I think it fits the piece. Artists Of The Soul.. It just has a nice connatation to it and feel for me that is. A great piece of work here.
Blessings to you
Mona
Hi Paul ...
A good poem ... I too tend to pass over mere mentions
of the much over-used "soul" in titles, but this is a good
reason not to generalize on my part.
One thing (or word) that struck me as odd
"bathed" in line #13, perhaps "armed" or something
like that would carry the original metaphor crisper.
What I really like about this poem is it isn't a "me"
poem, it is inclusive, but could be even more so if
you were to carry it to the level of all the "arts", and
not just writing ... but it is your baby and it is good now.
enjoyed the read
Richard
check the revisions, richard,
paul revised this to include the arts.
Yes ...
but I was referring to the entire poem ... not just the one line.
only an opinion anyway, not necessarily correct for sure, much
of what I suggest I fear is merely the way I'd do things.
Again Paul, I enjoyed the read, both times.
Richard
A great write!!
Hi Paul,
I thoroughly enjoyed this the first time i read and i came back for a second read after i had mulled over the words here and the one stanza in particular that stood out for me is:
"Needing only a pen
Making tears fall
From the blazing sun
Taming beasts
Exposing corruption
Capturing wandering minds
Replenishing dry souls"
This to me, and dare i say this brought to mind the cliched saying - "the pen is truly mightier than the sword"
Which in the above mentioned stanza you cover quite well for a few written words can make someone smile, cause them to cry, or even to curse in anger.
All in all a very clear and enjoyable write to me and i look forward to your next one.
Chat to you soon.
yours in script
Feebie