When winters' chill
arrives, via
an icy wind, so cold;
it's quite enough
to convince this man
he's getting far, too old.
The seasons' breath
will do it's best
to further make its' case;
by sharing an empty,
hollow shrill,
that gives lonliness a face.
With winter as
an only pal
that never seems to end;
I'm made aware
the trade's not fair
if I'm not allowed one friend.
The cold wind blows
and, sings its' song
scaring hope far, far away;
as time reminds
it's not unkind
for, tomorrow's another day.
Comments
a lively song which
a lively song which epitomises loneliness but ends positively with hope...liked it..
warmly..
I appreciate...
..that you noticed that, about the ending.....and your comment!
doc.
Lady Xena...
..great minds really must, think alike; because my mother said the exact, same thing. "I wanted, more"!
Well, maybe next time.
Thank-you,
doc. ;)
Winter's Song
Seems I've seen that title before, but no worry as titles like words are made to be used.This write is wonderful and needs nothing.But just as an alternative you might consider these ideas :....loneliness a face, and deleting "that" in next to last line.I don't know if either would be better than leaving it as is.........................stan oops! forgot to say that I really liked this one lol
Thanx, "scribbleman"...
..I really DO appreciate your "kibitsing" with the possibilities that plague an edit. You do make it easier, for a bloke like myself.....so, for your excellent, tasteful, suggestions.....I've decided to take off my hat, for the remainder of January 18th, 2011!!!
the changes have been made,
doc.
:)
Doc
What a truly wonderful write, I felt the loneliness of winter.
I see a poem in here, that you have inspirited in my head, I will write it and give the credit to your write for planting the seed in my head
thanks doc!
Eddie.C.
Great, Eddie....
...sorry, I hadn't seen your comment.....earlier; but, you go on ahead, and let me know.
later,
doc.