windy day at Cooper's lake
a wind storm takes shape
dark clouds spin tornadoes
across clear blue water
a picture on my cellphone
running for the basement door
my dress tail caught a draft
I parachuted safe inside
Mar 14, 2012
Windy Day at the Lake (imagery workshop)
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Although you...
didn't label your work as being Kinetic, I can see that is what it is. I can just see you with your dress puffed full of air, slowly drifting down to safety. Nice job! ~ Gee
rhanks
I labeled it kenetic but took it out to see if kenetics was clearly seen.
These senses terms are knew to me great workshop
Great work!
Wouldn't change a thing. Good imagery.
Deb
thanks Deb
Glad you like the imagery
Hi Barb
There's a bit of visual here also but it doesn't detract from the poem. Staying with only one type is not as easy as it first appears is it? lol..........stan
yes i agree
Just kenetic is not so easy just as you said.
I just figure a little visual with lots of motion
Would still work
glad it works .
A very successful entry.
Like Stan mentioned, I'm betting you could have done this without the visuals, but you nailed kinetics. wesley
yes i could have but
Why torture my brain a few more days lol. Just that it is truly hard to stick to just one senses without some of the other senses being there.
Torture.
Yes. That's the word. What sense is that? wesley
lol
:@)
rewrite
Not sure which ill choose, but is meditating to see which I will rewrite. Hopefully just one sense more closely this time
Dear Barbara.
Great jpb on kenetics! I could NOT have done as well. Loved this:
a picture on my cellphone
running for the basement door
my dress tail caught a draft
I parachuted safe inside
always, Cat
thanks Cat
Glad you like it