the_fool
the_fool
Dec 24, 2012

that whimper we keep hearing about

schools are chained and padlocked
homes barred and latched up tight
dogs brought inside and hushed
even interstates snuffed of light

under blankets children hidden
slumped wives drivel drunk with fear
men despair in gibbered prayer
the unstoppable inevitably near

for the robots dance at midnight
till the bells all chime at dawn

law shut and shelved the books
clergy refuse to calm or collect
soldiers abandon silent generals
the front finds nothing to protect

for the robots will dance at midnight
then the bells will crack the dawn

warnings faltered in vain harumphs
all who heeded sneered and ignored
the masses plugged into the virtual
as for reality, we cut the chord

About This Poem

Last Few Words: not my usual style. sounded cool when i wrote it, then added last stanza to give it a point. meh...

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Austin, TX, USA

More from this author

Comments

weirdelf

there is a cord to reality? I never got mine! Is it USB?

Was the use of the word 'chord' a typo or a deep referential meaning?

F

Newtown described beautifully

S

Good to see you back posting. This reads as song lyrics to me. A song of despair over recent events. I think if you will read this aloud you'll catch a few rhythm stumbles and I think maybe
" might work better we've cut the cord"...............stan